>>54753151Reason No. 7: Nom Nom Nom
Now if Vaporeon were a real marine mammal, they would realistically have a bite force of around 200 to 500 pounds per square inch, which is enough to destroy your cock and balls; it takes 100 pounds per square inch to bite off human genitals, by the way. If anybody has seen that scene with the raccoon and that one Soviet soldier from SpikeTV's 1000 Ways to Die, you'll know what I am talking about. In Soviet Russia, nature still finds ways to screw you up. Also, regarding the pinnipeds that I mentioned earlier, if you get bitten by one, you're pretty much going to end up with something called "seal finger," and it isn't as harmless as it sounds. It is about as pleasant as finding out what Chris Chan did to his mom. If you don't know what seal finger is, I'll make a long story short. If you were to get bitten by a pinniped and if the bacteria, which is called Mycoplasma by the way, from the said pinniped's mouth gets into your bloodstream, you're bound to get some surprises like cellulitis (which will mess up your bloodstream), joint inflammation, and swelling of the bone marrow, which results in a very painful amputation of the infected body part. Remember when I said that the males were more aggressive than the females? Yeah, now imagine one biting off your family jewels and its aftermath. I guess calling it the “Castrator Pokemon” was justified, wasn't it? Don't expect Nurse Joy to give you any antibiotics or health insurance, either, because you asked forit. And that is why you should never play hanky-panky with a Vaporeon at all. So, at the end of the day, you're better off convincing a Meganium that a vegan restaurant is the perfect daycare center for its Chikoritas or recommending a Charizard visit the Alola Region during the monsoon season than trying to get wet with a Vaporeon. Thank you for your time, and have a good day.
