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Throughout my life, I had always looked up to my father as a supreme role model. Despite his harsh rules and his frustratingly stubborn and arrogant mindset, I always found him to be one who would model my ambitions and dreams, to propel me to his level of fame and glory. Unlike him, I wanted to reach out to others and have accompaniments to follow me while still striving for glory, but due to my father's rude ways and abhorrent personality, coupled with the fact that no one likes my smell of ashes, the friends I tried to reach out to had slipped out of my grasp and hovered away into the dark horizon. In time, I learned to become independent, to not care about the support of others, just like my father. However, everything changed when only yesterday, I found my father's dead body buried in a pile of rocks, and found his suicide note clutched in his grasp. As I read through, something sparked in my devastated mind.
I was on the same road that my father had taken, to money, power, but to an empty and bitter life. Noting the regret in his paper made me realize that I had changed too much for anyone to come close to me, and with my father, my only paragon in my life, now gone from my world, I have already fulfilled my destiny to live a cold, barren, and lonely life. My mind was just overloaded with so much raw emotion and self-judgemental connotations that I just couldn't take it anymore.
Perhaps it's time for me to take a bath so I can cool my thoughts.