>>12507440For someone supposedly on the wheel 24/7, Captain Swalot wasn't necessarily the kind of guy I'd expect to be the head of a ship.
Like seriously, take one fucking look at him.
Regardless, it's always important to talk to the captain of a ship before becoming acquainted with anyone else. Just to get the 4-1-1 on who exactly is taking you to paradise.
Before we can introduce ourselves to the glut, he does it for us, saving us the slack of having to repeat that tedious introduction, "Ah! Two savory passengers, what's up, chum?"
If I had to describe his voice, I'd give you a jolly Santa Claus. Y'know, that kind of overly optimistic kind of fat guy who doesn't care that he's fat, he cares only for the fun of everything and anything that he happens to come across. The kind of guy that just loves to be positive.
I didn't know whether to be sickened or not.
Quags spoke first, "Captain! I don't mean to be *THAT* guy but....Exactly why aren't you driving the ship?"
I elbowed him subtly to get his attention, "You don't 'drive' a boat, Quags."
Despite the potential for a dangerous situation to occur, Captain Swalot keeps a jolly smile on his face, "Don't worry, I got 'er on auto-pilot! Now I get to walk around the ship -AND- eat the buffet! Speaking of which, I'm obligated to tell you that the "Super Spooky Haunted Dinner Theater" is about to take place in an hour. Please feel free to walk about the ship and relaaax!....Just make sure the walking costumed employees scare you, they're PAID to do that y'know! The least you can do is scream once or twice, also be on the watch-out for jump scares and animatronics handled by our chief mechanic. I gotta hit that Nipponese food, so SAYONARA for now!"
Captain Swalot proceeds to regurgitate a pair of chopsticks. He clicks them twice, and we watch him depart into the hallway.
Quags cocks an eyebrow, "...Why is he the Captain if it's being piloted on auto?"
A) Talk to Scrafty.
B) Talk to Tropius.
C) Head to the suite.
