>>56104161So glad you checked it out anon, and I appreciate the in depth feedback! I hope I don’t seem combative in responding to it point by point, I’ve had people get that impression before, but I just like engaging with all feedback.
>Vibe of the main duoI appreciate it! As I got at in the notes for the third chapter, these first 3 entries are above all else an intro to their characters, just in scenarios / a structure that don’t force a 10 page long back-and-forth of exposition tennis, as I prefer dynamic character intros. I only draw attention this because it’s gonna tie into my responses to a few of your other points.
>Rhys’ big reasoningThat’s definitely what the flashbacks are getting at, as well as the few moments where he reflects on something happy with dark, intrusive thoughts. His lack of interest in exploring his human life contrasted with his enthusiasm for heroism in his Pokemon life is a central conflict that will continue to be expanded upon through those sorts of moments until eventually we have the whole picture of his life before isekai’ing.
>Untagged dialogueThis part is just a style choice for this particular story, like when a movie opens a conversation with a shot of background scenery. I know reverse engineering dialogue in this way is divisive in the literary world, but ultimately the ambiguous haze of Rhys’ second life is one of the driving narrative forces, so I’m trying to go for some lexicon, syntax, and format that incentivize the reader to piece things through as he does, even when the perspective isn’t on him. As his memory becomes more clear, so shall the world around him.
>Sneasel villainy + Scrafty ambiguityThis is 100% the right line of thinking, and I’m glad to have someone call it. While, as one of our major players, Sneasel’s own deal will no doubt be expanded on, I really want readers to call all of this into question. We *don’t* know what Scrafty did, he wasn’t in a rush to hang around (1/2)
