wrote it down since these threads come up often
>be 6 years old
>had just gotten gold because my parents love me
>hadn't played a pokemon game before that but had pseudo-collected the cards
>Morty is fucking my shit up
>discover that morty can't do shit against normal type pokemon
>i'm out of money, how am I going to catch a normal pokemon
>hey, i've never been to this part of goldenrod before
>Bill, who are you?
>you're just going to give me a pokemon?
>eh, this little fox thing is coo-IT'S A NORMAL TYPE
>little did I know normal attacks can't do shit against ghosts as well
>wipe to morty, again
>go through my TMs find mud slap that falkner gave me
>hey, eevee can learn that
>turns out it rapes morty
>insta bro
>evolves into umbreon versus will
>and just when I thought this brown motherfucker couldn't get any better
>"hey anon, we're going out to eat with polly and keevan and hannah, and you and your brother are coming with us"
>"but mom, can i atleast bring my pokemons"
>"sure sweetie"
>with some help from my jynx and typhlosion, umbreon and I demolish the elite 4
>now you must face the champion
>no bitch, it's the elite 4, and i counted 4 of you
>umbreon makes quick work of gyarados
>hey, someone told me dragon types are weak to ice
>his dragonites takes out my jynx and my other 4 pokemon
>it's just umbreon versus 2 dragonites, and aerodactyl, and a charizard
>get down the first 2 dragonites
>oh crud, i'm paralyzed
>somehow manage to take out aerodactyl
>low on HP
>out of potions
>umbreon has leveled up
>umbreon wants to learn the move moonlight, make room for moonlight?
>well, bite is out of PP and I still have faint attack, let's replace bite
>he sends out a charizard
>I start freaking out because one of my IRL friends had a charizard card, and his name was lance
>gamble and see what moonlight does
>heals umbreon
>ihaveaplan.png
>was able to get a rotation of 2 faint attacks and a moonlight off like 4 times and finally beat that charizard
>cont.
