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CYOA: Pussy Lucas and Dandere Dawn's Bodacious Peregrination - You Are (Not) a Fucking Hero

!PM597lkh2g No.12436445 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
Let's cut to the freaking chase.

You are Lucas, the incredibly beta and embarrassingly pathetic, oh I don't know, 10-14 year old boy from Twinleaf Town. In what may be the most awful region that ever had to exist, Sinnoh.

See, it's called Sinnoh. And boy, does it SUCK to live there. It's not even a fucking joke, this is super serious shit. The region is a hellhole to live in if you want to be a working man, raising his family, with his cute wife that giggles whenever you tickle her.

Nope. Living manifestation of hell, all embodied into one region.

See, Sinnoh is basically a magnet for religious prostitutes of all types, because all the people there are Arceus gooks who suck face at the immediate sign of their llama "lord and savior".

A fucking llama of all things.

Of course, you don't agree with all this hate, you're just a stupid little kid who already has a job as one of Professor Rowan's top assistants. You also have your best friend Barry, who's a bit hyperactive, but it's okay, he means well because he likes taxes or whatever.

But wait.

You're thinking, "Oh HOW CAN IT BE THAT BAD?", you're wrong. Since the region is a religious magnet, monsters from all over the place, ahem, space, attack daily.

Since Rowan is apparently, top tier in the mystical and enchanting study of "Bloody Christian Moon Monsters From Space", he's put himself and his entire team of lab assistants to put an end to these wonky beasts. Using giant mecha robots that aren't really robots.

Yes, that extends to you too.