>be me
>average joe
>my name isnt even joe
>dammit obama
>have a 6 year old laptop, very trusty, never had any problems
>its time was ogre, or so I thought.
>proceed to buy a new laptop
>go to this new store
>salesman was a midget, suspicious indeed
>suggests me to buy a QuadBook
>"How much?"
>"around tree fiddy 1 dollas"
>buy it because poorfag
>had good specs
>4gb ram, 1.8ghz quadcore
>open laptop in sheer joy
>desktop background is Farquaad
>whatthefuck.png
>open internet dreksplorer and it goes to Quadbook.drek
>I have been coaxed into a snafu
>rush back to store, it's closed
>break inside and break everything in rage
>pray to Shrek to forgive me
>Shrek will forgive me
>cops come because alarm
>put in jail
>I don't even have the get out of jail card
>dammit monopoly
>pray to Shrek every moment
>life was tough without internet
>couldn't connect to Brogrebook.onion
>one day, out of the ordinary
>cell door breaks open
>itsajailbreak.run
>made this russian friend, very huge, very strong
>he was a brogre too
>the drek ass cops start shooting
>a cop was around 4 feet away from me, he shot
>russian friend takes the dive
>he is kill
>no
>feel rage increase
>start screaming like I usually do when I'm taking a shit after eating mexican
>Eyes go green
>hair goes green
>skin goes green
>I become a Super Brogre
>destroy the drek guards
>save only the Brogres
>let the drek die
>fly over to the same drek laptop shop
>payback.exe
>another brogre was to be coaxed into a snafu
>not on my watch
>swoop down and use a full powered Kamehameonion!
>destroyed
>no sign of shop anywhere
>Brogre was safe because onionshield
