Hey Brendan, sorry I've been gone for a few weeks, I uh, went to Kalos. Yeah. Kalos, they had a cheese festival there and I was nominated as chief judge for the uh, "Funky FUN-DOOM Off" it was a competition, where people had to cook fondue. They put a pun in there because it's funny and it attracts competitors.

You ever been to Kalos, Brendan?

No? That sucks. It's fun. They have cheese there you know, Hoenn doesn't have that. Hoenn doesn't even have baguettes.

But listen Brendan that's not what I'm trying to get across here, lay low I gotta tell you something.

Have you ever seen a Goodra? It's like this pure-type Dragon, yeah, those exist. It's all slimy and stuff, it gets even stickier in the rain, just think of jello when you think of one.

So I was at the Kalos store, and I see some lube. And you know naturally for a guy like me I'm gonna obviously go, "OH YEAH I REALLY NEED SOME LUBE" so okay I go and get the lube.

Except we're in Kalos, Brendan. Everything's so expensive, couldn't even buy ONE bottle of lube, can you believe that? I can, because I was there, I was the one they wouldn't sell the lube to Brendan, ten bucks short. I was outraged.

So I'm in the woods with a wheel of cheese--it was a gift for judging the contest--, and I see this Goodra, so naturally I'm like, "Oh wow Brendan I can probably get my own free lube from its goop or somethi-"

HEY MAY YOU BETTER GET THAT FREAKING MEGA BLAZIKEN OUT OF THE FIELD! GET IT OFF, NO MEGAS ALLOWED, THEY RUIN THE FUN--YOU'RE RUINING THE FUN MAY. YOU RUIN FUN.

I'm sorry Brendan she's just a real pain in the ass, worst girl I swear.

But uh Brendan, back to the Goodra, so I stole its goop, and then I bottled it. I call it "McGuirk's McGoop" lube, it's going to make millions, people WILL pay top money for this kind of stuff, Brendan. You just gotta find the right market.

And I'm giving this first prototype bottle to you, Brendan. keep it well and don't ever open it, it'll be worth a fortune in ten years.