ITT: We admit how autistic we are, why, and how much we hate ourselves.

For starters, I had abusive parents growing up and went through an edgy sparkledog phase. I'm still an active member in the furry community.
Pokemon was always my escape reality, and I legitimately feel discomfort and hopelessness when I think about how the adorable, loving creatures of the Pokemon world will never exist.
>pic related
I've attempted suicide twice in my life now.
I have fantasies in which my girlfriend turns into a Pokemon.
[spoilers]She knows about them, too.[/spoilers]
I've always wished I could trade my life away for a ticket to the Pokemon universe.
Sometimes I wish that my girlfriend is a big, powerful Pokemon that could hug me and shield me from the outside world.
This disturbs her greatly.

How autistic are you, /vp/?