/vp/ - Pokémon » Thread #18427497

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 04:36:01 No.18427497 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>18427554 >>18427792 >>18427824 >>18427930 >>18428210 >>18431063

Think of a Pokémon.

These lions are now all that Pokémon and that mesh cage is the only thing protecting you from them eating you.

How does this work out for you?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 04:37:46 No.18427534 Report

Quoted By:

>Giratina

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 04:39:35 No.18427552 Report

Quoted By:

I'll be fine

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 04:39:47 No.18427554 Report

Quoted By: >>18427577 >>18427801

>>18427497
>Sylveon
Not very eventful I suppost.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 04:39:56 No.18427556 Report

Quoted By:

Volcarona

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 04:41:42 No.18427577 Report

Quoted By: >>18427801

>>18427554
*suppose
Fuck myself.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 04:47:21 No.18427644 Report

Quoted By:

>Galvantula
We shocked nigga.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 04:52:51 No.18427687 Report

Quoted By: >>18427740

is it possible for a person to fight and kill a female lion in a 1v1 fight with only they're bare hands?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 04:57:18 No.18427740 Report

Quoted By:

>>18427687
Like in a pit and shit? I mean you MIGHT be able to, like maybe 1/100 people/lions. Now if it was like more open and shit it might be easier. With like a stick or something. Our brains and tools make us the greatest animal, not our bodies.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:00:33 No.18427780 Report

Quoted By: >>18427931

>Goodra
But I don't want to fight them, I want to fuck them!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:01:56 No.18427792 Report

Quoted By:

>>18427497
>Pyroar

So fire breathing lions?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:02:44 No.18427801 Report

Quoted By: >>18427815 >>18430947

>>18427554
>>18427577

You do know what sylveons feelers are capable of, right? Are you saying that a hoard of angry sylveon sticking there feelers through the bars of the cage and suffocating you as the others jab at your squishy torso while the rest violently tug and pull on your limbs would not be fucking terrifying?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:03:54 No.18427815 Report

Quoted By:

>>18427801
Well, now that you mention it, I suppose that would be pretty terrifying. Forgot that it could move it's appendages at will...

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:05:08 No.18427824 Report

Quoted By:

>>18427497
>Gardevoir
I hope you meant "eating" in a sexual way, because I'm fucked either way.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:10:59 No.18427886 Report

Quoted By: >>18427908

Jigglypuff

I'm safe

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:12:36 No.18427904 Report

Quoted By:

Pikachu.

Yeah I'm gonna get electrocuted.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:12:55 No.18427908 Report

Quoted By: >>18427955

>>18427886
Can't they learn Flamethrower?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:13:52 No.18427918 Report

Quoted By:

>Steelix
gg, hope you enjoy your meal guys

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:15:25 No.18427930 Report

Quoted By:

>>18427497
Drapion

It's gonna be a painful one.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:15:49 No.18427931 Report

Quoted By: >>18428033

>>18427780
>tfw a horny dominant male goodra want to have his way with you
>tfw he hasn't had proper sex with his goodra wife for a while, so he uses you instead due to your fat neckbeard asscrack
>tfw when he picks you up and has his way with you
>tfw his slimy 20 inch cock slides up your rectum, penetrating it slowly
>tfw his goodra wife starts to become jealous and mad while you slowly begin to inflate with his seed
>tfw his goodra wife comes over while you and him are mating, and she wraps her long antennae around your neck choking you slowly. she then pulls you away from him, and dragon pulses you to death for mating with her husband

Seems like it might be the other way around.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:16:23 No.18427939 Report

Quoted By: >>18428025

>Garchomp

Those lions better hold on to their asses because things are about to get OUTRAGEOUS.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:17:44 No.18427955 Report

Quoted By:

>>18427908
Teleport, too, so they can port in and start a rippin and a tearin

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:19:59 No.18427994 Report

Quoted By: >>18428049

I would rather die by lions than a horde of bidoofs.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:23:41 No.18428025 Report

Quoted By:

>>18427939
>outrage
>gen 6

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:24:32 No.18428033 Report

Quoted By: >>18428094 >>18428117

>>18427931
>dragon pulses the victim instead of the rapist
stupid fat feminist thats why they dont deserve equal rights they are too stupid

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:25:51 No.18428049 Report

Quoted By: >>18428088 >>18428328

>>18427994
>They chew through the bars
Is there a Pokemon that ISN'T going to kill you in this situation? So far I have Sunkern and some of the early-route Bugs that can't fit through the mesh. Maybe some of the stranger Pokemon that presumably don't need to eat, or have the ability Sap Sipper and are thus herbivores.

Oh, and Delphox. That mesh cage can totally wall all of Delphox's moves, in addition to outspeeding it and OHKOing it with a not-very-effective coverage move.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:27:24 No.18428062 Report

Quoted By: >>18428120

The fuck is a Shuckle gonna do to me?

I step out of the cage and toss that shit of a pokemon into the nearest lake.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:28:52 No.18428088 Report

Quoted By: >>18428120

>>18428049
Go back to Serebii pls

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:29:27 No.18428094 Report

Quoted By:

>>18428033
>being a male goodra
>not wanting a strong, tsundere female goodra harem to boss you around, and hit you with her long antennae

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:31:33 No.18428117 Report

Quoted By:

>>18428033
>being a male goodra
>not wanting a strong, tsundere female goodra harem to boss you around, and hit you with her long antennae

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:31:46 No.18428120 Report

Quoted By: >>18428309

>>18428062
>Stone Edge
>Earthquake
>Sludge Wave
>Power Trick

But seriously, Infestation. You're going to get fuckled.
>>18428088
Nah.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:33:28 No.18428134 Report

Quoted By:

>Chandelure
They'll just pass through like it's nothing and burn me to a crisp.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:36:20 No.18428151 Report

Quoted By: >>18428219

Is magikarp the only safe answer? Even baby pokemon can learn some nasty moves

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:41:28 No.18428210 Report

Quoted By:

>>18427497
That's not funny when 99% of all Pokémon wouldn't even be lightly bothered by that pitiful cage.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:41:57 No.18428219 Report

Quoted By:

>>18428151
>Implying you can tank a splash

Flare Boss Lysandre !2DrkZFLarE

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Flare Boss Lysandre !2DrkZFLarE Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:44:21 No.18428245 Report

Quoted By:

>Me vs. 4 Venonats

Good.

I'll just spare getting eaten in favor of getting Poison Powdered to death.

Heroine 0232-9535-0520 Normal [Lilipup, Loudred, Smeargle]

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Heroine 0232-9535-0520 Normal [Lilipup, Loudred, Smeargle] Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:46:51 No.18428275 Report

Quoted By:

I... I uh... God damn it. Well they're someone's Voreifu/Voresbando

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:49:36 No.18428309 Report

Quoted By: >>18428344 >>18428415

>>18428120
>all that
>with that shit attack
I'd be more scared of someone throwing a pebble at me

>Power trick
So now it shatters into pieces the moment I step on it's slow ass

>Infestation
>Wild pokemon
>Learning a move it can only learn by TM in the wild.

I'll piss on it a bit before I toss it into the lake.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:51:03 No.18428326 Report

Quoted By:

Audino, I think I'm safe. They would be too focused on violently healing

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:51:17 No.18428328 Report

Quoted By:

>>18428049
>Is there a Pokemon that ISN'T going to kill you in this situation?
Even Sunkern can easily fuck up your shit at a higher level. Weedle and Wurmple learn Poison Sting, so you're especially fucked in that cage, but well, they couldn't eat you. Scatterbug can learn Poison Powder through breeding, so you better pray their fathers weren't poisonous. So basically the cage fends off Caterpie (and Metapod), and that's assuming Bug Bite isn't strong enough to bite the mesh.
You're also protected against Magikarp. And Ditto with nothing to turn into... And Kricketot.
Also, Wynaut and Wobbuffet cannot do shit to you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:52:44 No.18428344 Report

Quoted By: >>18428373

>>18428309
>that shit attack
It's still much stronger than you. Pokémon are fucking OP, you are not.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:56:22 No.18428373 Report

Quoted By: >>18428418 >>18428444

>>18428344
If they are so powerful, why is god in my pokeball?

If they are so powerful why do they cower away from me throwing a rock at it.

If they are so powerful, why are Farfetch'd so delicious?

They aren't so great.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 05:56:57 No.18428376 Report

Quoted By: >>18428413

Well if im being quit honest
if im going to be eaten by anything, it might as well be a dragonite

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 06:00:26 No.18428413 Report

Quoted By: >>18428470

>>18428376
>Dragonite
>not the obvious Serperior/Goodra/Milotic/Mawile

Indifferent Quality taste there, pal

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 06:00:43 No.18428415 Report

Quoted By:

>>18428309
>Wrap
>Sticky Web
>Struggle Bug
>Power Split
You get immobilized, and then fuckled repeated.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 06:00:55 No.18428418 Report

Quoted By: >>18428507

>>18428373
>2014
>still having no idea about the basic mechanics of the Pokéworld
I'm not even bothering to educate your dumb ass on these topics, we've been over this a thousand times.
Shuckle can break rocks by hitting them and move rocks that weigh several tons. In the Pokéworld, that's not really impressive, hence the low base stats. It will still easily fuck your shit.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 06:03:49 No.18428444 Report

Quoted By:

>>18428373
Because your pet rabbit is more OP than god.
You are just a fat neckbeard.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 06:06:14 No.18428470 Report

Quoted By:

>>18428413
all very nice choices in my book too

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 06:10:40 No.18428507 Report

Quoted By:

>>18428418
It can't even do some of that shit unless someone stuck a CD in it's ass.

>It can break rocks
pft

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 06:34:28 No.18428737 Report

Quoted By:

>Charmeleon
fug

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 06:49:05 No.18428882 Report

Quoted By: >>18430927

Why these would ever want to kill me is beyond my understanding.
I'd be amused for a while, at least.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 12:48:56 No.18430927 Report

Quoted By:

>>18428882
I think there was one time TR managed to piss off a bunch of slowpoke and shit hit the fan.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 12:51:23 No.18430938 Report

Quoted By:

>Darmanitan.
*inaudibly high pitched scream*

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 12:55:04 No.18430947 Report

Quoted By:

>>18427801
stop it, boner

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 13:04:20 No.18430988 Report

Quoted By:

>Mamoswine
Even with a concrete wall to block me, I wouldn't stand a chance.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 13:17:52 No.18431045 Report

Quoted By: >>18431070

>Cranidos
Considering the height of a Cranidos there isn't that much they can do. They might try to tip over the truck or something and even though they can reach speeds of around 68 km an hour, it might be difficult for only 4 Cranidos. Plus: primarily, they are herbivores and only prey on other living things if they are in need of protein, so they would have to be pissed off to even wanna try to get to me for a longer period of time.
So I'll be fine I guess.
Unless, of course, they start calling for the alpha female Rampardos leader of the herd, then I'd be pretty fucked.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 13:18:24 No.18431048 Report

Quoted By:

see you losers in hell

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 13:19:46 No.18431058 Report

Quoted By:

>Meowth
I'll be fine.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 13:21:01 No.18431060 Report

Quoted By: >>18431138

>klefki

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 13:21:55 No.18431063 Report

Quoted By:

>>18427497
>Joltik
That's adorable!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 13:24:02 No.18431069 Report

Quoted By:

>Chansey

Are they gonna kill me by stalling me to death.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 13:24:15 No.18431070 Report

Quoted By: >>18431106

>>18431045
the pokedex says that they're carnivores,or at least turn into carnivores when they become Rampardos
>Its skull is as hard as iron, it is a brute that tears down jungle trees while catching prey.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 13:29:38 No.18431105 Report

Quoted By:

>Dragonite
Welp.
Im dead

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 13:29:49 No.18431106 Report

Quoted By:

>>18431070
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanonPokedex/Cranidos
I based it mostly on this and the biology section of their Bulbapedia pages, so...

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 13:31:31 No.18431112 Report

Quoted By:

>honchkrow
HA!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 13:33:46 No.18431126 Report

Quoted By:

>Greninja

Keep that tongue scarf to yourself, buddy

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 13:35:37 No.18431138 Report

Quoted By:

>>18431060
>they just open the cage

Prepare to be swagplayed

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 10 Mar 2014 18:19:07 No.18433584 Report

Quoted By:

>Serperior

Welp, I'm dinner. Been nice knowing you all, /vp/.

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