>be me
>just got done marathoning the Shrek films
>ordered 3 extra large stuffed crust cheese pizza expecting some friends to come over
>I forgot
>I don't have friends
>decide to eat all the pizza by myself and watch Shrek
>The credits to Shrek Forever After start to play
>feel a bad pain in my back
>have to take a dump super bad
>make mad dash to bathroom
>plop my fatass on the commode
>bite my lip as I try to force the gigantic turd out my anus
>lips begins to bleed
>I'm sweating profusely
>the shit is to huge to pass
>I sit on my toilet
>begin to tearfully sing "I need a hero"
>suddenly bathroom door slams open
>Smash Mouth begins playing
>IT'S SHREK!
>He looks at me with tears rinning down my face
>"Better out than in, I always say!" he said as he puts his large ogre hand on my shoulder
>"Bend over laddeh!"
>I do so happily
>Shrek whips out his ungodly enormous dick
>He thrusts it into my asshole and begins pumping vigorously
>his massive Mara begins smashes the cement brick in my rectum
>he blows his oniony goodness all over my insides
>With a sigh of satisfaction, he says" Ok lad, now try…"
>I shit out a waterfall of green and brown pleasure
>I look up and smile at Shrek
>Shrek looks at me
>"That'll do Donkey… That'll do…"
>He then stands in my toilet and flushes himself down the shitter, Laughing hysterically
Shrek is love, Shrek is Live.
