Aight, bitches, listen up. My name is Jeff Gamefreak, John Gamefreak's long lost brotha. So ya wanna know what kind of shit's gonna go down in this game? Well, I got some juicy insider information.
The starters are some punk-ass gecko, a pimpin' mud fish and a big flaming cock. The game starts with you moving into this tiny-ass hick town. You meet this buttmunch next door who becomes your rival, but it don't matter 'cause ya can kick their candy ass no sweat. You also meet this chickenshit kid named Wally, but no one cares about him.
There be these two rival gangs. They call themselves "Team Aqua" and "Team Magma", ya dig? And they try to flood the earth or dry that bitch up depending on which game ya got. And then there's this mothafuckin' snake at the top of a tower who flies around like a little bitch nigga. There's also these three robot faggots, but ya have to be some kinda fuckin' NASA scientist to find 'em.
You still with me? Now, this shit happens on some kinda big-ass island, so you're gonna be surfin' around like a bitch. You can dive into the sea if you wanna get your shit wet. I'd rather dive into that whore you can play as, but the fuckin' nerds making this shit won't let you. Ya hafta collect these 8 gym badges and challenge some assmunch who think's he's some kinda fuckin' champion. Fuckin' blowhard. Thankfully ya get to beat that twittlefuck's punk ass to the next region.
That's all I got for ya today. Y'all niggas better not tell John where you heard this shit, kapeesh? I'm outta here.
