[19 / 4 / ?]
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Hey /vp/, I have a very serious problem. I’m fucking crying because of how stupid I am. Okay, so my girlfriend was supposed to come over to my house today because I was going to go take her to a movie. She lives about 20 minutes away, and the movie we were supposed to see started at 4:15, which was in about 40 minutes. I figured “cool, I’ll just play Pokemon while I wait”. So I’m playing Pokemon, and having a pretty damn good time. Anyway, she finally does show up, except she’s crying as she walks into my room. Instead of doing the right thing by comforting her, I half-focus on my game and her. She starts telling me her cat died, and just as she was getting into it, I get into a random encounter in my game. A shiny pidgey. Holy shit. (For those of you who don’t know/care, shiny Pokemon have less than a 1/1,000 chance of appearing; 1/8192 to be exact.). I stare into my screen in amazement, yelling “holy shit, YES”, interrupting her mid-story. She sobs more, and she starts to yell “You don’t even fucking care! YOU JUST WANT TO PLAY YOUR FUCKING GAME!” I’m still looking at my screen, still focusing on catching my shiny Pidgey, when she walks over, and tosses the game against the wall. I run over and pick up my DS hoping that nothing has changed on screen, and quickly noticed that she broke it. My system and my shiny Pidgey, gone forever. I start screaming every obscenity I know, and started flailing my arms around. I didn’t know she was behind me, and apparently I backhanded her in the face while I was being a dumbass and swinging my fists around. She yells out “FUCK YOU”, and runs out of my house in tears. What have I done? I’ve fucked up so badly, and I need to know how to approach her. I don’t want a game of Pokemon to be responsible for ruining my best relationship ever. Help me, /vp/.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
did you lose the golden pidgey then...?
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
You're on v too. Get off motherfucker.
>>>/v/250591139 Anonymous
Anonymous
>>19790096 >>19790117 What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
on the subject of old copypastas Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>19790130 What the fuck did you just fucking say about my gear, you little n00b? I’ll have you know I am a lvl 90 Undead Arcane Mage, and I’ve won so many PVP matches, and I have done raids on every 10 man heroic dungeon. I also have a fuckton of macros and I have a GS of 10K. You are nothing to me but just a lvl 12 gnome hunter. I will pwn the fuck out of you with Arcane Missiles the likes of which has never been seen before on Azeroth AND Outland, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over raid? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my guild of mages and shamans across The Eastern Kingdoms and your character is being targeted right now so you better prepare for the ownage, n00b. The Arcane Barrage that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your character. You’re fucking pwn’d, n00b. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my secondary talent tree. Not only am I extensively trained in Arcane magic, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Fire magic and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable neckbeard off the face of Azeroth, you little faggot. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re getting debuffed, you goddamnn00b. I will shit Dragon’s Breath all over you and you will burn in it. You’re fucking pwn’d, faggot.
Anonymous
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What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little weedle? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Trainer School, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Team Rocket, and I have over 300 confirmed wins. I am trained in smogon warfare and I’m the top sweeper in the entire competitive battling scene. You are nothing to me but just another karenfag. I will OHKO you the fuck out with accuracy the likes of which has never been seen before in Kalos, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over Game Chat? Think again, fagit. As we speak I am withdrawing my box of ev trained penta-perfects from the pc and your friend code is being traced right now so you better prepare for the thunder, plebian. The thunder that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your team. You’re fucking ko'd, kid. I can battle anywhere, anytime, and I can ko you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my NU team. Not only am I extensively trained in priority combat, but I have access to every pokemon in the pokedex and I will use them to their full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of Kalos, you little sunkern. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “Hyper Beam" was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking thumb. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn magikarp. I will shit stealth rock all over you and you will drown in it. Git gud, kiddo.
Anonymous
Well, there's no arguing that this was your fault. Here's what you're gonna do, get a new 2DS a Powersaves, some chocolates, a bottle of Boone's and some condoms. The most important here is getting the Pidgey back, use the Powersaves to quick hacht egg boxes and get a Pentaperfect shiny bro. You can eat the chocolates and the bottle of Boone's, they serve no real purpose, you can also masturbate while wearing condom, it feels fun. About your ho', she may come back, she may not, you cant force her.
Anonymous
>>19790174 tx mate, kind words from a kind woman.
You're a gentlewoman and a scholar
Anonymous
>>19790189 Im male you stupid fagget
Anonymous
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>I was only 9 years old >I loved Shrek so much, I had all the merchandise and movies >I pray to Shrek every night before bed, thanking him for the life I've been given >"Shrek is love" I say; "Shrek is life" >My dad hears me and calls me a faggot >I know he was just jealous of my devotion for Shrek >I called him a cunt >He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep >I'm crying now, and my face hurts >I lay in bed and it's really cold >Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me >It's Shrek >I am so happy He whispers into my ear "This is my swamp.">He grabs me with his powerful ogre hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees >I'm ready >I spread my ass-cheeks for Shrek >He penetrates my butt-hole >It hurts so much but I do it for Shrek >I can feel my butt tearing as my eyes start to water >I push against his force >I want to please Shrek >He roars in a mighty roar as he fills my butt with his love >My dad walks in >Shrek looks him straight in the eyes and says "It's all ogre now." >Shrek leaves through my window >Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
Anonymous
>couldn't even bother to switch /b/ for /vp/ just go home, anon
Anonymous
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>>19790202 lawl, dat's da joke :)
Anonymous
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>>19790219 what would you say if OP fagget is home?
Anonymous
Anonymous
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>mfw there's a bunch of people who are reading this for the very first time