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CYOA: Scrumptious Calem and Kuudere Serena's Tubular Voyage Part 55: Today I Grew a Dick

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Part 54: https://archive.foolz.us/vp/thread/19896560 +
https://archive.foolz.us/vp/thread/19919060
Chapter Directory: http://pastebin.com/sgnYBisD
Last thread: >>19984788
WHEN WE LAST LEFT OUR HERO..
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While reverse-searching Google for precise directions to that address, you come across a few minor setbacks in the form of pop-up blocks your mobile browser is refusing to get rid of.

"Cheap airfare tickets to Cancun? I don't get it, what's so great about that? It sounds like it's full of black people.--Huh, it /IS/."

"Hot singles under twenty...? Th-They're in my area?!"

"Online horoscope: Crustle-- Unlockable sex scene if reader is able to spell out a synonym for taxi. What does that even mean?"

"Gematsufags BTFO... If you ask me, I feel more sad for Mewtwo fans, they still think he's getting in."

"If you use anything other than your favorites, you aren't a true Pokemon master. Huh. . . I think I can see that. Yeah, that sounds reasonable to me, I mean, why use a Pokemon you don't even like, righ--AAAH!"