Quoted By:
I feel so honored to be the first comment. All of my hard work and dedication has paid off. First and foremost i would like to thank my lord and savior, Shrek, for giving me this opportunity.
Praise be to thee, oh glorious oniony lord! For you, my heart, my soul, and anus is open! Next i would like to thank my parents and wife for being so supportive of my belief in Shrek. Even though they'd accused me of taking it a little ogreboard at one point, I'd still believed. Next i would like to thank my local produce store manager, who always made sure to keep fresh onions stocked up for me when I was performing my rituals of praise to Shrek. And to the shitposting newfags, because they give me inspiration that i need to get through the day. This is a special moment in my life and i would like to thank any of my unmentioned friends and family that have helped me along the way. This moment will be a moment that I will never forget. It will forever be embedded into my layers. Im truly ogrejoyed. And last but not least i would like to thank all the people out there that actually took time out of their day to read this. I cannot stress how much of a big deal to me this is. I have been trying to be the first on a post for years, but that has not been possible until this amazing day. I only hope lord Shrek is pleased by my accomplishments, for it is in his name that I go forth. Hopefully my good luck will continue, but this is undoubtedly a rare occasion. If you asked me how I did this, I would say, you can achieve anything u set your mind on, if you just lovingly spread your ass cheeks open for Shrek. To all the kids out there reading this, I would like to tell them to follow their dreams, keep your layers up and your sphincter ready. Being the first is truly amazing, thank you everyone. Thank you Shrek.
Shrek is love. Shrek is life.
