>>21274969I'm not entirely fond of smut, so I didn't think I'd like this, but Vanille and Teej together are just too cute regardless of the context. It was a fun read.
I do, however, feel that I should point out that sometimes your speech tags felt redundant
>I couldn’t help but laugh, “Haha, is that really all?”>Vanille gave the most shuttering gasp yet (followed by a *gasp*)Honestly, I felt as if the gasps and moans within asterisks were a bit awkward, too; in my opinion, actions like gasping should be kept outside of the dialogue, and sound effects are better added in by using commas or dashes. Although, this could just be something you do on /tg/ that I have no idea about, so I apologize if it is. Also, you had a habit of occasionally confusing past and present tense. I could find examples if you'd like, but it's fairly straight forward.
