/vpwt/: Newbies Edition
Previous Thread:
>>21945452 >post your favorite fanfics >ask for opinions on fics you’ve written yourself >share your works in progress and post updates to your stories Join us in the IRC to hang out, bounce ideas off of us, and post snippets of your work for critique:
>#vpwritethread @ irc.rizon.net Check out the catalog for something new to read:
>https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gfEz6j8NP0xE_fr-UBw3zaMICkiTmYZM6hWlTmW6DsE >How should I post my fics? Please link to a pastebin or fanfic hosting site rather than dumping your fics in text posts in order to keep things tidy in the thread.
>Can I post NSFW fics? Absolutely!
>Can I post NSFW pics? Not unless you’re particularly fond of being banned.
>Can I add my story to the catalog? If you wrote it, feel free to request it be added to the catalog by posting in the thread and filling out the following template:
>Title, by Author >NSFW, y/n? >link to fic >Genre(s): >Short description of fic in question We also maintain a pastebin full of ideas and prompts we’ve thought up here in the thread. If you need inspiration, feel free to take a look!
>http://pastebin.com/YBGv8k97 Topic of the Thread: New guys, you either love them or hate them. Do YOU like them?
That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
I still need a last name for Paul and Pyramid King Brandon (as in the same last name). Name generators not cutting it.
Anonymous
That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
Quoted By:
>>22067325 Do you need help? Would you like directions to a mental institution
TheOnlyMoth
Quoted By:
>>22067253 Apologies for the rushed thread. Had some serious business to deal with (the newbie kind).
But in any case, let's recap.
Last thread Courtney and Shelly fans duel it out, catalog is now updated, ideabin needs to update (gotta stop being lazy and get to it once finals are over), and more authors deliver.
Fic recap:
Wally's diary leaked quite early into the thread. Not sure if it will be finished, but it's SFW
http://pastebin.com/Pac1n54B An anon posts a Steven/May shipping fic that is SFW for now.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10856830/1/Future-Airline A Diancie fic is in the works based on an idea from the ideabin. SFW yet suggestive
http://archiveofourown.org/works/2690891 A NSFW Wally story soon after appears
http://pastebin.com/eMPk5KC9 https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8390419/1/Like-Gemstones-Cut-Too-Deep A DEEPEST LORE fic is created as Nate (champ) has to deal with the loss of Elesa and Roxie. SFW
http://pastebin.com/ZjNhZjuR Yandvoir finishes up his/her fic about a killer gardevoir. SFW, if you count violence.
http://pastebin.com/QP2vZvDt A guy works on a Dectetive fic involving the disappearance of two gym leaders. SFW
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10868777/1/The-Missing-Link-Part-1-The-Kanto-Academy Christmas parody song ahoy
http://pastebin.com/R0rZGLjA A greentext Wally story is in the works. Appears SFW for now
http://pastebin.com/AKUCVcEy They....they grow up so fast
TheOnlyMoth
Oh as a reminder, please read the OP before posting your story without linking it somewhere. Otherwise...accidents might happen.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22068251 jesus christ how horrifying
TheOnlyMoth
Quoted By:
Some of you guys may have seen this snippet already, but I decided to put it on FFN because why not.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10874231/1/Wigglytuff-s-Wub-n-Dubbery Story will be one of many failsafe for me if I ever completely burn out.
Frillish thing is still on the way though, so stay tuned.
Anonymous
Help me out, /vp/. I've been trying to write a fucking Cyrus/Dawn fic for AGES. The majority of the shit with them is either awful grimdark or extremely out of character. I had a good idea, Cyrus's view as they meet throughout Platinum's plot, but I keep skipping around and hitting a rut. Any suggestions for where to go from here, or even a completely different story idea? I'm fucking stuck.
Anonymous
Newbiest of the new here just asking some general stuff to regulars. I've always kick around story ideas in my head when ever I'm bored and sometimes I come up with pokemon stories. Recently I've come up with the premies of a story of an introvert OC who sets of on his own journey and meets someone who breaks him out of his shell after a somewhat brief encounter. I tend to change a few key points in my head and can never seem to settle on something concrete. I never actually write anything down so my question is what to do with my half-baked ideas. I'm only somewhat motivated to actually do any writing so does anyone have any advice on what to do?
TheOnlyMoth
>>22072895 As a man who has a bunch of ideas running about in his head all the time, I'd say write them down. All of them. The stupid kind, the silly kind, the serious kind. All can have potential, though the first step is to write it down so that you don't forget them. Who knows, maybe you'll tackle on one if you're confident/bored enough.
Anonymous
>>22072895 Try writing a short, self-contained story to start with. If you lack motivation, then you aren't going to ever finish a long story. Just try and make something at 1 or 2k words that can stand on its own. You should be able to hash that out in a couple of writing sessions.
Anonymous
>>22072950 Yeah as lame as it sounds I was thinking of carrying around a spare notebook for that reason. A main problem I run into is while I come up with some ideas/ sub stories of one concept it's working out on how to weave it all together into on coherent tale that I get stumped on and end up just dropping it for a while till I find myself randomly thinking about it all over again. I guess if I write stuff down regularly id be able to better myself in that regard...
Anonymous
>>22072960 Hu I haven't really looked at it like that makes sense I suppose I could give that a shot.
Anonymous
>>22073016 As another with more ideas than motivation, I can assure you that fiddling with ideas in your head that you will never put in words is one step short of a waking nightmare. Biting off more than you can chew will only hurt you.
TheOnlyMoth
>>22073007 It's kinda like a boomerang really, it will all come back to you one day, or some day in that case.
>>22072960 's idea can work too.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22073085 >>22073099 Ok thanks for the support the big take away I getting is to just write down something and seeing where that takes me. I know what ever I might end up with will be utter crap but at least it would be something I've made for my own satisfaction...I guess. Also does anyone ever find themselves coming up with a character and end up projecting a lot of your own traits on to them with out even noticing? I find it to be annoying cause if I did want to do that I just insert myself as a whole into a story.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22072742 Assuming you are NOT trying to make a grimdark Cyrus/Dawn fic, I'd say continue brainstorming by using
>>22072950 or
>>22072960 's idea. If your gonna break the stereotype following Cyrus around, then you'll probably need to research him quite a bit.
If I remember, Cyrus chose to stay in the dimensional world because he was unsatisfied with the real world. I'd say a half-decent way to start up the fic is to have him one day wake up back in the real world and him trying to figure out why he was evicted. Just my idea
Anonymous
>https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10868777/1/The-Missing-Link-Part-1-The-Kanto-Academy >chapter 2 The battle part feels too videogame-ish. The 4-move limit exists for game balance reasons and the turn-based structure of battles is an abstract representation of a much more complex sport. It doesn't seem reasonable to interpret them as accurate depictions. Also, I would not reference specific game abstractions like hit points directly.
>chapter 3 This one veers hard into Special Snowflake territory. Eevee as starter, okay. Instant friendship, eh, at least there was some setup. Instant Sylveon evolution, too much.
mobile fag
>>22067253 I don't mind new guys much as long as they know what they are doing.
>>22067288 You could go Mario Mario with the names, just a heads up.
Mistress Hand
>>22075718 well, the requirement to evolve eevee into slyveon is to make it have a fairy move and 2 hearts in amie, so it might not be too obscure. . .
Anonymous
>>22077204 So more videogame literalism.
Mistress Hand
Quoted By:
>>22077342 that could be what the author is aiming for. but it's just speculation on what's going on in the author's head
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Currently writing a fic of a pyrophobic having to deal with a fire Pokemon. If I manage to post it, you'll see the context.
Anonymous
>>22077342 nothing wrong with that
Yandevoir
Quoted By:
>>22072895 I got the idea for my fic after a Bio class I took went into great discussion as to why interspecies mating could never happed, then I stumbled onto a gardevoir thread that talked about mating, decided to screw around by posting the ideas that would later become my fic, and when people suggested I write more, I started to. What I'm trying to say is, don't stifle yourself by thinking your ideas are stupid, start writing. I posted my unfinished work here all the time, and these threads are great for comments.
That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
>>22075784 What, like Brandon Brandon and Paul Brandon
TheOnlyMoth
Quoted By:
>>22080507 I think that's how the joke goes
Anonymous
Quoted By:
To trenchcoat: Requesting a Reuniclus doing something fun while being unaware that he's causing mayhem and destruction, something like that Meet the Pyro video.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
Did... someone delete my post about the fuckin Cyrus/Dawn fic I was working on? And the reply?
Anonymous
>>22086507 Janitors will occasionally sweep away pairings they deem that break the age group from time to time. It happens.
Also I learned that quite a few real life bugs tend to flinch or go nuts if their antennae are grabbed. I'd be lying if it isn't a little fun writing a fic about someone pulling antennae on bug types and watching how they react
Anonymous
>>22087254 Did you know that certain sharks are hypersensitive to magnets due to the special organ they use to detect blood in the water (or something like that)? I've heard it compared to having a bright light shone in your eye, sensory overload, except for some sixth sense that humans don't possess.
Funny enough, a Probopass/Magnezone would probably be able to daze a Garchomp long enough to defeat it, if it had a similar organ (despite being a sandshark), despite the hilarious type disadvantage.
I think grabbing a bug's antennae is either sensory overload like the shark thing I described, or pulling a cat's tail. Either way, they're vital to the bug being aware of what's going on around it, so obviously it would be a bit distressing for them.
Don't bully the bugs, anon. That's rude. TheOnlyMoth
>>22087254 >pulling on a sensory organ I would assume it would be like having one of your hairs (yes, that hair too) being pulled apart from you by someone else.
Also pic related.
>>22087425 So if you were to swim out into the ocean with a magnet in your pocket and a magnet-sensitive sharks stalks you because you look like a seal, would it give up quicker because sensory overdose?
Anonymous
>>22080266 There is, however, something wrong with using it as an excuse to resort to bad shortcuts. If a battle description reads like a Showdown log or character interaction/development is reduced to a few lines "because that's how it works in the games" it results in a worse story.
mobile fag
>>22089437 >why Because science
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>tfw want to write something based on the picture in Shelly's room but more interested in taking a break from writing fanfiction to work on original things
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22067253 >newbies Understandably annoying to me. Still wouldn't hang around them though.
TheOnlyMoth
Quoted By:
>>22090367 Fucking science. Screws me over moreso than magic and magnets combined.
>tfw I actually like science Anonymous
I want to get back into writing but I get the feeling that the homo community is so small that can't justify the effort. What do?
That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
>>22096253 The homo community is very large. Write away
TheOnlyMoth
Quoted By:
>>22096253 There are occasionally a couple of M/M fans lurking around from time to time. Regardless,
>>22096295 does have a point
Butler !!vQF061dDoa/
Quoted By:
At least there's one good thing about the ORAS Battle Frontier shitstorm, gave me an idea for something else that this dipshit can rant about in his speech.Classic class warfare fueled by how the common casuals can't overcome the barrier to entry with the Battle Frontier.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Someone needs to do a fic with these two. Preferably if it involves the girl face down ass up as the guy flaps his arms and shouts "SQUAWK SQUAWK" at the top of his lungs as he humps her.
Anonymous
Of all the yandere fics to write, why hasn't Froslass been done? She literally freezes people to keep as trophies, and no one's thought to give that an insane-romance spin?
TheOnlyMoth
Quoted By:
>>22101236 I think the guy behind Olivine romance was using something like that as symbolism for one of his in-progress works. Something about Candice trying to recreate a tragedy between a Froslass and a Weavile...
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22105264 This is a writethread, not a cringe thread.
You could make the argument it counts as an autism thread, though. Anonymous
How obsessed would Trevor be in wanting to catch em all?
Anonymous
>>22107258 he'd be willing to suck dick for dex entries I bet
Anonymous
>>22107302 What kind of dick? Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22108278 I wonder if he'd
take a knot for the dex entry.
Anonymous
>>22075718 Writer here,
>chapter 2 The oversimplification is intentional. It's an opening exam for a trainer's school. I don't plan on going with the videogame mechanics for the entirety of the work, but it struck me as an effective tool for examination formats.
>This one veers hard into Special Snowflake territory. Eevee as starter, okay. Instant friendship, eh, at least there was some setup. Instant Sylveon evolution, too much Do you know the circumstances of the Sylveon evolution? It's petting it in Amie with a fairy move. The Pokemon used at the Academy are mostly going to be second-and-third evolution to reflect the advanced level of the both the students and curriculum.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>22108447 just make sure not to follow the game mechanics too deeply for too long.
anyone remember the link to that odd bellossom fic that popped up a couple threads back? I want to reread it for reasons...
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22108447 >Do you know the circumstances of the Sylveon evolution? I know about the mechanics. Refer to
>>22090022 Anonymous
Anonymous
Miltank/Lilligant greentexter here. I got a little support to make my lilligant greentext smut into an actual story.and that gardevoir/humanoid pokemon threads got the boot from /d/, I...kinda lost the will to go with the plan.
TheOnlyMoth
>>22118029 >only one stocking on 0/10 absolute territory ruined
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22121804 But what if she pull the other on as a mean to say she's ready for mating?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22121804 >not being into fashionable asymmetry pleb taste
Anonymous
That Guy with the One Ashfic here, with my Bi-threadly suggestions post. As we know by now, I'm doing an anime fanfiction where Ash finally stands face to face with his own mediocrity and strives to face it. He leaves the Kalos region and one month trips to the past five regions to try and wrap up a lot of old promises and to find himself, before returning to Kalos to finish the league. I have the plot frame put in place but I'm wondering what you guys would want to see in a fanfic like this. Keep in mind these plot points are already planned.
http://pastebin.com/8jLdE9zu As always is there anything that you guys would like to see out of the Anime that would only ever come to pass in Fanfic form?
Spoiler for the slight lewdness
ThatGuywiththeOneAshfic !latXRxVvNs
Anonymous
Anyone have stories with Leavanny (SFW or NSFW, doesn't matter)? I would prefer seeing an example of it acting motherly in some way.
Anonymous
>>22126211 Comically condensed version:
A poor housekeeper person is told to take care of one, 2 weeks later returns the thing with what seem like inch deep paper cuts all over his skin.
Fo' real version:
Roomate's Leavanny habitually tries to do things it sees as helpful, but are actually not purposed for humans. PCs roommate's gotten used to it, even seeing it as cute and heartwarming, while PC him/herself does not appreciate any of the gestures as much. Sewing related comedy and interspecies differences ensue.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22128359 I thin the Fo'real version actually sounds cuter than the comically condensed version. I support the Fo'real version
Anonymous
I miss the WWYR community.
Anonymous
>>22128755 >WWYR Write what you request? We just need more writers doing such a thing. Currently, only Trenchcoat is here doing that for SFW shorts and even then he recently went ghost mode.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22128925 write what you roll. you would either go to that one pokemon randomizer thing or
random.org and roll for a pokemon or two or whatever and then write something about what you got. think he means the people who were around back then rather than wwyr itself
Anonymous
Mapfag/
massageanon back, just posting this and asking for opinions. Have some comfy music while you look.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3ewe2uF6O4 Looks like a good enough place to adventure in?
The thick borders sort of define different cultures, based off Water, Fire and Grass being their main type. The Fire Cities are the most technologically advanced, the Grasslands provide food, and the Water Archipelago provides the spiritual, along with salvageable ruins with technology from 'a long time ago'
the current pokemon world as we know . In the middle of everything is the Dragon Valley, seat of the Rising City that forms the heart of the land
that I haven't thought up a name for, aside just calling it Hokkaido. Thoughts?
Anonymous
>>22130072 Also, just something else, what would you think would suit a wandering healer who keeps on the move and never settles due to some mysterious pact with Fairies, and a young trainer who might become a future villainous team leader to gather strength to fend off some catastrophe?
What I have so far
Healer:
Clefable (fairy, and has heal pulse)
Delphox (fire is important as a healing thing, also sage-like thing)
Venusaur/Torterra (Torterra is comfier to travel on, but Venusaur's part poison type can let him extract medicines from it)
Potential villain guy:
Greninja (Protean, always willing to change to win no matter what)
Slowking (sort of shows how he wants to be different and better than everyone else)
Hydreigon (symbol of power)
I also want to give him a fairy to balance out the dark and make it more ambiguous. Maybe a Togekiss.
Mistress Hand
>>22130072 it looks like the region map is based off of India?
Good news, everyone! I finally figured out the genre I'm heading for my crossoverfic and chapter 2 is on the way. the crossover shall officially begin in chapter 3 (as I spent the last two chapters introducing characters).
Anonymous
Ever tried out several points of view, only to discover you're only decent with one of them? I find myself doing so much better with 1st person despite preferring 3rd person.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22130180 Nah, it's generated in Dwarf Fortress. What's in it is based off my personal experience traveling in Japan
and heavily influenced by Mushishi and Morrowind You can see a scale on the top left. It's supposed to be around 1500x1500km.
>>22130193 Me too, anon.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
SUrprised there's not smut of Gardie now able to learn Draining Kiss. Walking up to towering dragons and giving them the K.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22131499 that's the one. Many thanks
Anonymous of Massachusetts !NoraVXgoIM
Quoted By:
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10594086/1/The-Codex-of-Arceus Finished my fic, dropping a link to the first chapter, replace the 1 with a 5 if you've been reading it already.
A ruin maniac finds a book of lore in Mount Coronet that claims to be written by Arceus, learns about the disasters of a Jirachi wish, and now that Jirachi landed and is challenging the Subway/Maison, tries like hell to stop it. SFW adventure fic.
Unown
>>22130072 Is there an in-setting explanation for why the water culture is broken up into three effectively discontiguous locations?
If those borders have been in place for a decent amount of time, I would have trouble seeing them not undergoing cultural drift from each other and becoming distinct.
Also, given that the grasslands dominate food production, does that imply that all of the factions are on terms good enough to at least facilitate trade with each other? Since letting any one political entity control a large chunk of your food supply is risky if they're not friendly with you.
Also, for naming, consider basing it around some sort of idea associated with your region. For instance, Hokkaido is named after its geography, Japan's name owes its origins in large part due to the fact that the local top deity used to be a sun goddess that was seen as being endemic to their rocks, China owes its name thanks to good old-fashioned ethnocentrism by the local people.
What you name your region is up to you, though based off of the past times you've covered your region in this thread, I'd probably go with something evocative of centralism, sacredness, or being a remnant of past grandeur.
>>22130153 Your character concepts probably need to be narrowed down a bit more to really give any verdict one way or another.
Healers come in different stripes, and have different specialties. For instance, if your healer was a straight apothecary, I would expect his team to reflect experience with treating and dealing with status ailments. If your healer was specialized in sewing people up, I'd expect Pokemon that are more standard Pokemon Center fare and some way to get around at a decent clip. As it stands, your healer based off of his/her choice of Pokemon seems to either be the type to do house calls, or someone who needs to move about, but not necessarily too fast, such as an itinerant herbalist.
(cont.)
Anonymous
>>22136149 >If your healer was specialized in sewing people up, I'd expect Pokemon that are more standard Pokemon Center fare and some way to get around at a decent clip Leavanny would be an interesting choice there. While I understand it generally sews webs or whatever, it would be simultaneously a great fit and an unexpected choice for the role.
As for the former bit about apothecary, a bunch of Grass- or Poison-types could work there. Reverse-engineering Antidotes from Gloom's nectar or Crobat/Seviper venom, or maybe a Roselia/Aromatisse' Sweet Scent and Aromatherapy... All sorts of options there. There's certainly room to be creative beyond the bog-standard Chansey/Audino pinkblob fare.
Unown
>>22130153 Con't from >>22136149 Your villain seems a touch nebulous. Based off of your details, he seems a touch full of himself, and obviously has designs for some manner of pre-eminence. But there's not much really hinting at context for him beyond the fact that he has 2 water-type, which would imply he's likely from somewhere in the blue zones. The Hydreigon seems to imply that obviously your character had some exposure to your Dragon-infested center, unless if there are Dragon Pokemon elsewhere in your setting.
I would try to hammer out what your villain's background and M.O. are, what his present status is, and then from there tweak his team as needed.
Anonymous
>>22136149 >>22136200 >>22136210 Interesting, thanks.
It should be noted that Hokkaido literally means something along the lines of North Sea Island, though. They all depend on each other, so there's little inter-province conflict. They're not hard and fast borders, they're just what cultures are dominant.
This is really for a RPG I'm running, so these characters are NPCs that will pop up occasionally. The Healer's based off Ginko from Mushishi, he heals and researches strange stuff that regular pokecenters can't help. Pokemon that feel an urge to seek the moonlight, trainers that suddenly can hear the thoughts of Pokemon, stuff like that.
The villain is more a potential villain, depending on player actions. He has to be convinced out of his impending start of darkness, I think. Yeah, he's from the water area.
Unown
>>22136579 Geographic naming is not always strictly feature-based, keeping in mind how your region's people would see different things is something to be mindful of when playing with names.
For instance, Hokkaido's literal name in Japanese owes a lot due to the fact that it used to be seen as a peripheral area to the world that Japanese people lived in. For the Ainu that were native to the island, their literal name for the island meant 'land of humans' , since that's where all the people they knew lived and they didn't know too much about anything outside of it for most of history.
For instance, if the people who settled your region came first to one of the extreme corners, some of their location-based names might be defined relative to their initial landing site.
Unown
>>22136768 Should have translated that as 'Peaceful/Quiet land of humans' to be more accurate.
Anonymous
>>22136768 >>22136819 Something translating to 'Land of refuge' or 'land of salvation' might fit. The old world is sunken beneath the waves/
behind hyperspace holes . I'm not sure if they know any countries outside this, even.
Tech level is slightly lower than standard. The Pokedex project has only just started, one of my players has the first line pokedex and is working on gathering data. Poke balls aren't transferred instantly if players get a 7th pokemon, they have to deposit it themselves and suffer from effects of carrying too many pokemon to travel with (probably easier exhaustion, pokemon becoming a lot needier). Digital storage and transfer exists but is less accesible.
Any other ideas, maybe?
Unown
>>22137211 What are the main looming or existent threats that people face in your region, and by extension, the main challenges your players will need to face?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22137580 Legendary attacks: on occasion an extremely powerful and aggresive pokemon appears, and all nearby trainers are enlisted to drive it off
Evil teams: I decided to just use Cipher and Shadow Pokemon, since my players never played the gamecube games. One of them's a psychic with the ability to detect and calm Shadow Pokemon, too.
Team Material: seemingly an energy corporation, it's in fact been responsible for many dangerous and illegal experiments, possibly the sudden appearance and dissappearances of legendary pokemon.
The leader is Cyrus, having found his way out of the Distortion World only to end up here Game Freaks: A mysterious group of trainers with no clear motive. The rare witness claims to see them with mythical pokemon.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22067253 ░░░░░░░░░▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄░░░░
░░░░░░░░▌▒█░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▒▌░░░
░░░░░░░░▌▒▒█░░░░░░░░▄▀▒▒▒▐░░░
░░░░░░░▐▄▀▒▒▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▐░░░
░░░░░▄▄▀▒░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▒▒▄█▒▐░░░
░░░▄▀▒▒▒░░░▒▒▒░░░▒▒▒▀██▀▒▌░░░
░░▐▒▒▒▄▄▒▒▒▒░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▒▒▌░░
░░▌░░▌█▀▒▒▒▒▒▄▀█▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█▒▐░░
░▐░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▌██▀▒▒░░░▒▒▒▀▄▌░
░▌░▒▄██▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▌░
▀▒▀▐▄█▄█▌▄░▀▒▒░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▐░
▐▒▒▐▀▐▀▒░▄▄▒▄▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒▒▒▒▌
▐▒▒▒▀▀▄▄▒▒▒▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒▒▐░
░▌▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒░▒▒▒▌░
░▐▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒▒▄▒▒▐░░
░░▀▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▒░▒░▒▄▒▒▒▒▌░░
░░░░▀▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▄▄▄▀▒▒▒▒▄▀░░░
░░░░░░▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▀▀▀▒▒▒▒▒▄▄▀░░░░░
░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▀░░░░░░░░
Anonymous
Quoted By:
Wrote a fic about Mt. Chimney erupting. Probably a lot of factual errors with volcanoes, but if horribly improbable disaster flicks can be good, then so can this.
http://pastebin.com/HTAEH1sB Anonymous
>>22130072 If you're still lurking, what program do you use to render DF maps like that? I really like it and I'm also writing a fantasy setting fic, which I've been debating whether or not to use an original map for.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>22130072 >>22139711 Also I lurk in irc like 24/7 so if you ever want to talk about fantasy worldbuilding shit I'd be down.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22139734 Cool, I'll come back
someday I want to out another chapter of Team Rocket survival fic first
Anonymous
Anonymous
Whatever happened to vs? Wasn't she supposed to be writing a bunch of Eevee fics?
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>22144026 As I understand it her phone that she was writing on got busted, she lost all her progress on Eevee Month, and is now down for the count until she gets a new device to write with.
It's pretty shitty, but you know, shit happens. She'll be back eventually.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22144101 man, that's unfortunate. Hope the holidays will cheer 'er up about it.
Anonymous
>>22144101 if she wants to I'll send her a laptop to work with, i got tons spare atm.
Anyone got contact details for her?
Anonymous
>>22147264 You'll forgive me if I think a random anon asking for someone's shipping address is a little skeevy. But I guess that's for her to decide.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22147302 I understand your disposition. I was never asking for a shipping address, just guessing there was a site ect that may have a email contact I could sort out the details from, although I guess I worded my response roughly. I was never expecting that sort of detail to be handed over on 4chan. Although I am genuine about the offer, it's no real expense to me.
That Guy with the One Ashfic
I need idea for a gift that Ash would give to Iris, got any ideas
Anonymous
>>22147754 an almighty loaf?
>>22147754 " target="_blank" rel="nofollow">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAC-5BQnuXI
>>22147754 That Guy with the One Ashfic
Anonymous
>>22147851 Maybe
a mawile? Anonymous
>>22147754 if it's a pokemon you're looking for, maybe a swablu (that evolves into altaria and mega evolves into that dragon/fairy thing) so that she slowly gets used to faeries?
That Guy with the One Ashfic
Quoted By:
>>22147863 The bane of all dragons, Ironic.
>>22147891 That might also work.
Butler !!vQF061dDoa/
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22153209 >Archie, can't you go any faster? >It's tough, mate! I've still got me sea legs! Anonymous
>>22136210 Some more stuff about villain guy
He's supposed to represent me. The Froakie as a starter also fits as a parallel as a frog in a well, he wants to break out of what he sees as his own insignificance, hence the power-seeking with a Hydreigon, possibly a Aegislash. That with Slowking makes for a nice connotation with royalty, or otherwise desire for power. Also Greninja a qt Anonymous
>>22154824 >He's supposed to represent me. Anonymous
>>22155398 well, who wouldn't want to be the villain?
Anonymous
>>22158643 Depends; what is the villains agenda? World Domination? Funds acquisition?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22155398 Or rather, the character I would have played if someone else ran the game
>>22158930 Unclear yet. I say he's potentially one because of is insecurities, that'll depend on player actions.
Anonymous
Page 9? Unacceptable. Have a cute ghost.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Game Freak decides to retcon the shittiest starter Emboar and allow you to give Unova a new Fire starter instead. What do you chose?
Anonymous
>>22165349 >Emboar Pic related.
Anonymous
>>22165398 >Serperior and Samurott get jack shit for moves they can use with their stats >Emboar gets Wild Charge and SCALD Why
Anonymous
>>22165426 Because Emboar came from Pigsy from Journey to the West, and everyone there is overpowered as fuck. Check out Infernape/Sun WuKong, for peets sake.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22165451 I know who Zhu Bajie is. Thing is, Zhu would do better as a water type, he's more associated with it.
mobile fag
>>22165426 Gamefreak tends to give colorful move pool to shitmons
SadIdiot !f37barISTA
>>22165426 Delphox's only choices for coverage are Shadow Ball, Solar Beam, Shock Wave and Dazzling Gleam.
Suffering.
Anonymous
>>22167633 Pity, I really love Delphox.
I've made a fic for Greninja waifu but not Delphox. One day... That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
Quoted By:
>>22167633 >inb4 It's a fire mage and doesn't deserve coverage. Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22167546 But all Gen 5 starters are shitmons.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Well, looks like someone is doing a momdevoir story suggested long ago...
>>22168863 Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22171544 >reading that thread I know we're on the pokemon fanfiction thread but that's thread is just a whole new level of autism
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22119447 Lilligant a best.
Anonymous
>>22167653 Would you mind posting that if you still have it binned?
Anonymous
>>22167633 Ever try maining a Lilligant in gen VI with grass, normal, and fucking dream eater as your only coverage?
More suffering.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>22178230 I wrote a female bug catcher fanfic
Anonymous
Game Master guy again
>>22130072 Have some special NPCs my players might run into.
>You are challenged by Hyperspace Traveler Red! >Raichu, Snorlax, Dragonite, Gengar, Lapras, Venusaur (Mega) >You are challenged by Hyperspace Traveler Green! >Aerodactyl, Alakazam, Machamp, Gyarados, Rhyperior, Charizard (Mega Y) >You are challenged by Hyperspace Traveler Blue! >Clefable, Magnezone, Arcanine, Golem, Porygon-Z, Blastoise (Mega) I'm trying to use as many strong Gen 1 Pokemon or their evolutions as possible. Any thoughts?
Starters/megas are staying as they are.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22178349 It seems more as a script-based play really since there is more dialogue going on than the usual writing one would see in a book.
Also, consider putting it in a pastebin to avoid unnecessary attention (especially when people just took it over).
Anonymous
>>22179226 >Raichu I see you're not the only one who wants to see Pikachu fully evolved.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22180223 Raichu is cuter, too.
I don't get mainstream obsession with Pikachu at all.
Anonymous
That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
What do you guys think of links to music in fics?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22187186 /maybe/ right at the beginning of a chapter or whatever and definitely not in the middle of the narrative, but I would never do it myself
Anonymous
>>22187186 If it's relevant, I don't see why not.
Anonymous
>>22188528 So apparently someone is working on a Courtney fic. It'll likely end up NSFW, just posting the WIP which is SFW so far.
http://pastebin.com/GFwnR4gX Thoughts about this thing?
Anonymous
>the standing stone formation in Kalos are about a mile in length and width
Anonymous
>>22189320 Width of the standing stones formation on this map is about 10 pixels.
The length of Kalos from the Team Flare Hideout to just a bit north of where the Couriway station is is about 910 pixels.
1 mile = 10 pixels
91 miles = 146.45 km
Whoa, Kalos is fucking tiny.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22165398 >that copypasta Getting real tired of that shit m8
Anonymous
>>22189358 >I have never played any videogame with a world map ever Don't be silly.
Anonymous
>>22190396 Just saying, if we want to get an idea of how big each region is.
I did some calcs for Hoenn some time ago as well, it was about 400km or so IIRC
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22190727 I wouldn't rely on calculations like
>>22189358 too much or else you might end up with unfeasible proportions.
Anonymous
Just going to put this question out here again.>tfw Starmie and Slowking aren't three stage
That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
>>22191763 Turtwig all the way. Torterra is my favorite Pokemon and it's always my first choice.
As for a mega I'd go with this.
Torterra @Torterrite
Grass/Ground
Thick Fat
ATK: 109 (+36) 145
DEF: 105 (+20) 125
SpAtk: 75 (-25) 50
SpDef: 85 (+40) 125
Speed: 56 (+29) 85
Now Torterra is a very bulky wall that can go either Physically or Specially Defensive, boost and sweep with Rock Polish, Swords Dance, (Or Dragon Dance. Come on gamefreak, bred from Tyranitar), or set up rocks and roar. With his unique typing he has a great niche in RU/UU but won't make it well in OU with SmogonBird and SmogonFrog running around.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22193227 Looks good. To make it a little more unique from Venusaur I'd give it Rock Head, though.
There's not much to change about Greninja, oh well.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22187186 If you had some way of making it start and stop at the right time I'd like it, but if I actually like what I'm reading I'm not going to interrupt it to put some music on.
TheOnlyMoth
Quoted By:
>Haven't written anything other than papers and projects all month. >Finally finished and determined to finish the frillish thing. >Spent hours with the document open, rereading what I did, but unable to come up with new stuff >Can't seem to continue from the spot I stopped at.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22191763 >>22191763 What kind of question is that? Nidoran of course.
I'd have to spend some time designing a potential Mega for both genders of the line, but bros being bros and Amie bonuses being a thing, we won't be needing it much.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22187186 Depends on the scene.
Music in a drama/dialogue scene can work as long as it doesn't get in the way of the text.
Music during an action scene makes things too difficult for me to read.
Krouscht !!z8uXdT+pD7i
Quoted By:
>>22187186 I wouldn't recommend it.
First off, music is so dynamic it's hard to find a solid piece that matches exactly to what you need. Unless of course, you use some repetitive piece or junk looped midi shi'.
Second, it's hard to match to reader, since everyone reads at different paces. It may work for some, might not for others.
That being said, it doesn't really hurt either unless someone follows it. So you could put it in, it just won't always work.
Anonymous
How would a 'real' battle be like?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22204564 There are many factors that come into play here - worldbuilding variables to be set by the individual author.
Level of realism: How lethal are Pokémon attacks in general? How resilient are Pokémon in general? How strong are Pokémon attacks compared to available weapons? How far has technology progressed in aspects not displayed in the source material? What about trainers with supernatural abilities (source example: Psychic class)?
Intelligence/discipline/loyalty of Pokémon: How well do the Pokémon fare in a chaotic battle against multiple enemies? How well can they fight when not directly commanded? How do they react if their trainer is targeted? What if the trainer is injured or killed?
It is reasonable to assume that both trainers would send out as many battle-ready Pokémon as possible, either to outnumber the enemy or to prevent them from doing so. It would also be likely that at least one Pokémon is assigned the task of protecting the trainer from direct attacks.
Anonymous
>>22204564 You should really read the Pokemon Special Manga. That should answer this question the best?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22165451 Curious, where's the pic from? Official comic?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22204564 Reminds me of a chapter on a fic I'm working on where Floyd (lead character) defends himself (somewhat unsuccessfully) against a trainer using his zangoose to mug him by trying to bash it with a crowbar he stumbled across during the incident.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22206834 I do. That's where I got those ideas.
Anonymous
Anonymous
It's pretty common knowledge now that Pokemon are eaten as food, but what kind? Specifically, which would be commonly reared for food instead of harvested wild like Basculin and Magikarp?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22210543 Honestly you've listed the best candidates already
Butler !!vQF061dDoa/
Anonymous
>>22210543 Fish? Check.
Beef? Check.
Chicken/Duck? Check.
All you need now is some grass types and you got yourself a good Christmas dinner there
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22215995 Considering grass types can live off water and sunlight, they'd probably be the most eaten unless they tasted horrible or something.
Maybe the eggs are eaten for starch.
That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
Okay I've decided to use music in my fic, but only sparingly.
SadIdiot !f37barISTA
Quoted By:
>>22219893 I've never once read a story that included Youtube links or music suggestions that actually made it work.
For the most part, including 'supplementary material' like that is more distracting and annoying to the reader than helpful. It forces your audience to strip their eyes away from your text in order to open up a new link or download a track, which cuts deeply into the pace of your story.
Sure, 'BGM' can work if your story is published on a separate site that allows for non-intrusive ways of playing music while reading, but for sites like FFnet, I do not recommend doing this.
tl;dr: It's annoying and causes distractions and concentration breaks. It's more harmful than it helps.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22187186 I always thought it felt kinda gimmicky
SadIdiot !f37barISTA
Drunken (on berry juice) bump
Anonymous
>>22225413 >Barie juice Fixed it.
Anonymous
>>22225413 >berry juice >not cactus juice You should do some research there, buddeh boi.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22228460 >drunk on cactus juice No anon, that's for a fic where
a Cacturne rapes a thirsty traveller .
Butler !!vQF061dDoa/
SadIdiot !f37barISTA
Barie !Csy1VeON1s
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22228972 Who are you and why are you here?
SadIdiot !f37barISTA
>>22228972 You know, I'd never use a tilde in writing.
Barie !Csy1VeON1s
Anonymous
>>22229089 Is that what they're calling "~" now? Tildes? Man writing has changed.
No more squiggly line. Tilde is the new meta.
Anonymous
>>22230207 I think it's been called the 'tilde' since its inception, anon.
Then again, you could speak of squigglies the same way one would speak of 'lemons' or 'slash.'
We don't like to bring up those times.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>22230246 must be dark ages of /vpwt/ back then
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22235513 I think that shit predates even WWYR. We're talking, like, early 00s.
Anonymous
Okay surfing movies are not helping me write a surfing on clouds scene.
Anonymous
>>22236644 So the clouds act like water, then?
Anonymous
>>22236702 I'm taking liberty on the physics of clouds for a christmas one shot, so yes
SadIdiot !f37barISTA
Quoted By:
>>22236644 Look up videos of planes flying. Latias is basically a fighter jet-turned Pokemon anyway, it wont be too different.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22236728 I understand,
but a guy in Ohio like me doesn't know the first thing about surfing. Assuming we're talking about IRL surfing. TheOnlyMoth
Quoted By:
>>22236644 Ever go on a rollercoaster ride and desend, bob n weave through the track? Now imagine that without the feeling of being restrained by safety precautions.
It's quite a good thrill
until you stay upside down for too long Anonymous
That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
Quoted By:
>>22237030 While that certainly does help, it does lack the more energetic and "roller coaster" like feel I'm going for. It'll help though.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22189393 Since Kalos is based off of France, just use whatever total square miles France is, and then extrapolate measurements down.
You could also use this to learn Serena or Calem's official height, but this might be overkill. That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
I need help for the final speaker in a presentation on Mega Evolution. I've got Sycamore, Cynthia, Diantha, and Korrina. I need a fifth.
Anonymous
That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
>>22240573 I have enough ORAS poking as it is, so I'll leave steven out. Cynthia is here because she's relevant later
Anonymous
>>22240516 Have Lance call the others a bunch of bandwagoning pussies that can't cut it anymore without an unfair advantage.
That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
Quoted By:
>>22240589 Lance has a mega in my story
Anonymous
>>22240583 Professor Rowan, then? IIRC he's an expert on evolution.
That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
>>22240621 But now I'm Sinnoh pandering, especially considering what happens later.
Anonymous
>>22240642 Mr. Pokemon from Johto?
That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
>>22240668 >Mr. Pokemon Eh... underwhelming. I'm starting to reconsider Steven.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22240698 How about someone from Unova, like Drayden?
Anonymous
Anyone know any good fics about pokemon that aren't the usual waifu bait? Like ghosts or object mons or amorphous blobs.
Anonymous
>>22242400 >amorphous blob You should probably be a bit more specific anon, because gardvoir kinda falls into that category
Mistress Hand
Quoted By:
>>22240516 it seems that you have quite a big age group between presenters of mega evolution. maybe you should find someone a bit older to be the final speaker?
Anonymous
>>22242943 Ha, good point. Was less worried about egg groups than just getting bored of seeing the same mons all the time, know what I mean? All anyone seems to write fics about is the same old waifu mons, and even the porn is all the same. Like you could literally replace whatever it is with a human girl and it would make no difference. I dunno, thought you guys might be a good place to ask.
Anonymous
>ways to counter mega evolution Attack the opponent during a brief window of time while vulnerable during the process itself
Remove the mega stone
Remove the trainer's key stone
Attack the trainer, or otherwise disrupt their focus
>defending against these tactics Feign mega evolution, start the process but make sure your pokemon is ready to break out of it within moments and counter the incoming attack
Mega evolve only when the opponent is disabled
Hide the mega stone securely on the pokemon, like within a cavity such as the mouth
Hide the keystone on your person properly
Have a pokemon dedicated to defending you out at the same time
Just some thoughts.
>>22245682 Would you like a
Seriperior? Or a Greninja? Anonymous
Quoted By:
Why is this thread on Page 7?
Anonymous
>>22245735 >Serperior? >Or a Greninja? Why not both? Anonymous
>>22245735 Serperior a cute.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous
I finished a lewd fic between Empoleon and a Milotic. Would you guys want it now or on the next thread? I feel like this one is getting maxed out.
Anonymous
>>22248757 Pastebin the story. We're still 10 posts away from bump limit
unless bump limit is 250 instead of 225 .
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22248780 uh, the bump limit is 300, so about 75-90 posts away from limit. Still, be sure to put it in a pastebin rather than dump it.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
So keep in mind this is NSFW
http://pastebin.com/NmtEEaK4 Anonymous
>>22248757 wait a minute. Empolean and Milotic...Haven't you suggested this pair like several months back during the Hoenn remake hype?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22248882 Never finished writing it. Until now.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22248757 would've been nice if you kept the tension going just a little longer before discarding it like yesterday's tomatoes, but it seems to work fine as a quickie.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22245682 I was going to say you couldn't be right with the sheer amount of fic and/or porn that has to exist, but then I looked at the catalog and you might have a point.
>ghosts I did wander into these threads ages ago and write a thing with an Aegislash, though it was sort of a mess since someone asked for porn and I kind of wandered off and did something else. Maybe I should clean that one up for the catalog…
Point being there's got to be some of it out there but finding it might be a bitch.
Anonymous
I need an opinion on an NSFW ficI'm going to have a human woman get bred by a legendary, I wanna know which would be more interesting, Arceus, Giratina, or Dialga. Its gotta be one of those 3.
Anonymous
>>22252527 >not Palkia, one of the most phalliac of legendaries running around. The bullshit you are speaking is causing global warming.
Though to be serious for a moment, my vote goes to
Girantina since he seems like a lonely fella that needs some attention.
Anonymous
>>22252636 I don't really like Palkia
Giratina it is.
Choroy
Quoted By:
>>22245735 >preventing strikes when Mega Evolving Just man up and strike a Power Rangers / Super Sentai pose while mega-evolving your Pokémon. It's proven to make you invincible during the process. Man, Calem / Serena already do what appears to be the Lost Galaxy pose when Mega Evolving their Pokémon.
>>22240516 >>22240642 If you're worried about ${GENERATION} pandering you won't get anything done. Whoever you choose has to be from *somewhere*, unless you insert an OC.
I'd flat out suggest just Rowan, since he's an expert on evolution, or if you're willing to take up villains / antagonists, Ardos or other Cipher people, as they did do impressive work on bringing out a Pokémon's full potential and Mega / Shadow are basically just different ways to achieve it.
Anonymous
Are there any other fics on this level of god tier in regards to both length and battle scenes
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8466693/28/Traveler mobile fag
>>22254968 There's the berserk mode gardevoir scene inSinners that goes on for a while.
>>22245682 There can only be so many ways you can write or lead up to A-B before you run out.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>22067288 >force memes I know this is possible on TV and media, but can this actually be done in a fic?
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22258990 A subtle way is deriving its theme into a plot, or by turning the first letter of every line into an acrostic of this word.
Anonymous
That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
Quoted By:
>>22258990 Jesus Christ I forgot I posted that
That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
Would the plural form of Beautifly be Beautiflies or Beautiflys?
Choroy
>>22259904 IMO, depends on where you write it.
Out of universe, it's "Beautifly" apparently, because "one Pikachu, ninety Pikachu". One could argue it's "BEAUTIFLY" and "PIKACHU" though. Trademarks, prior art and such legalese things.
In-universe, there's no practical reason for it _not_ to be any of "Beautiflys" or "Beautiflies". The plural of "dog" is "dogs" and it's hardly likely that Pokémon names in-universe are trademarked names. That way it can also be argued that the plurals are "beautiflys" or "beautiflies" but that's another matter.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22260936 The plural of "dog" is "dogs"
The plural of fish is fish. Using canon plurals for Pokémon in a fic is not illogical.
Anonymous
>>22258990 it's possible, I read a harry potter fanfic that did that shit
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9807593/2/Harry-Potter-the-Geek >>22256247 >sinners if your reading this fuck you slash firestorm or whatever the fuck your name is I read 10 chapters of your shlock to get to the first sex scene and he just fucking fingered her Anonymous
>>22252527 >>22252666 Its done. I feel like I should wait for the next thread.
Krouscht !!z8uXdT+pD7i
Quoted By:
>>22252666 >666 >He doesn't worship the Great Dickbeast of Space Antichrist confirmed.
SadIdiot !f37barISTA
>>22262601 There's still about 60 more posts to go, y'know?
TheOnlyMoth
Quoted By:
>>22262874 Besides, it's all going to get recapped if it's posted before new thread.
>bumping on page 1 I've seen some shit.
Anonymous
NSFW Giratina fic
http://pastebin.com/AmAki58e Be gentle...
SadIdiot !f37barISTA
>>22263345 You should learn how to properly space out your paragraphs.
As of right now, they're just gigantic chunks of text with little to no rhyme or reason behind your line breaks.
Whenever a character initiates dialogue, put it on its own line. Whenever a new idea, action or thought occurs, put it on its own line.
Also, there should be a space after every ellipses (...). You shouldn't overuse them either. Ellipses are used to slow down the reader's speed. Putting too much of them causes the reader's reading pace to go all over the place.
Your paragraphs feel like they're disjointed, with multiple sentences within one paragraph all describing different things. Paragraph 3, for instance, starts off with her describing her bed, and then suddenly herself and her friends. If a new idea or topic appears, move it onto a new paragraph.
SadIdiot !f37barISTA
>>22263345 >>22263537 I can't get into the specifics about your 'action scene,' since I'm not the best to critique that kind of stuff. Someone else should blather on about that instead of me.
Either way, I recommend looking up some basic grammar stuff on the internet and doing some writing exercises to get yourself used to line breaks and sentence structure. As well as proper punctuation.
On a brighter note, your descriptive nouns and verbs are pretty good. You have a bit of a problem with having some things sounding a bit too 'proper' considering the setting, but even I have that issue at times. All in all, keep at it and I'm sure you'll improve in time.
That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
Quoted By:
>>22263345 Ignoring conventions for a moment;
Dialogue/thought is pretty good, though I will point out, being chained, naked, and at the mercy of a demon, the last thing I think is "That's its penis!", granted that may be a more female response.
Your descriptions are pretty good though I'd drop the use of "mate" until after Anna realizes what Giratina is doing.
Plot wise (not really important for oneshot smut but still), it does leave it a bit open on the antique store, was there a portal to the Distortion World there? Was Giratina leaving a trap for her? For anyone? Not really important, but something to consider
Characters, well really character, are decent as well. This fic obviously isn't meant to be a deep look at a human character but rather a more primal set of circumstances so Anna inner monologue and obvious resist to Giratina is well done. I especially like the comment on her rejecting yet also accepting his uh member.
All in all it's good, I recommend following,
>>22263537 ,
>>22263574 , advice. He knows what's he talking about
Anonymous
I kinda want to try my hand at a pmdverse fic someone give me an idea for a plot of a sfw oneshot about a croagunk and its misdreavus bestie and maybe I'll get around to it when I'm not busy with other things
That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
>>22264531 Don't know much about PMD, all I remember is the PTSD nightmare that was the monsters houses up to the Primal Dialga
Anonymous
>>22264569 99 floors, team looking pretty ragged find the staircase, sudden monster house. The rage could be felt from miles around
TheOnlyMoth
Quoted By:
>>22264531 Misdreavus misplaces its uhh...bead thing and needs help finding it, while Croagunk is unknowingly wearing it somewhere?
Anonymous
>>22263345 Now I have inspiration for something where a male is offered as a sacrifice to a legendary pokemon, and it turns out he has to father a child.
Which legend, though? Preferably 600+ BST...
Wait, fuck no, I still have rocket survival fuc, Delphox waifu and that RPG setting to work on
Anonymous
>>22265747 The obvious is Meloetta/Diance, if you want something less waifu bait-y, my personal perverse mind went to Victini, I could see it being female, in a tom-boyish sorta way...
Also
>Implying Victory Star doesn't give you amazing libido Anonymous
>>22266033 I said sacrifice.
It has to be something large and dangerous enough, and bestial, not exactly cute.
So far the only candidate I have is Zekrom.
In my mind Zekrom is female while Reshiram is male. Yin is associated with femininity, while Yang is masculine. My mother always complained about how I was born more aligned to Yin. Anonymous
>>22266096 >not sacrificing yourself for victory Huh, I was always taught the opposite, with Yang being female and Yin being male. God my Daoism is off.
Anonymous
>>22266096 >Implying you wouldn't offer a sacrifice to the symbol of victory no matter how small and cute it is. But fine Regigigas then, she needs to make more golems and it takes her a while to get into it Anonymous
>>22266106 I also like imagining the masculine-looking Zekrom as really female while Reshiram, though feminine in appearance, is actually the male. Sujimori said this was intentional, IIRC.
>>22266109 Yeah, but Victini isn't something that feels like it would be worshiped and feared, or terrifying enough to fuck with fear.
Can't bond that well with a faceless golem Anonymous
>>22261266 it's the cost of having plot with porn. Totally worth it.
Also to whoever did that florges story, here's something you should never forget.
Floette is here, Florges is a loser.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22266124 >I also like imagining the masculine-looking Zekrom as really female while Reshiram, though feminine in appearance, is actually the male. Sujimori said this was intentional, IIRC. That would be logical, there's always a bit of Yin in the Yang, and a bit of Yang in the Ying.
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>22266578 Floette fan pls, you don't want to unleash the dark side of the fairy.
>>22263345 Some of the longer paragraphs can be separated to have their own paragraph as stated by
>>22263537 . Take it from a man who hates word walls
>>22264677 99 floors? I remember it being shorter, unless it changes to 99 when trying to recruit Dialga.
TheOnlyMoth
>>22270292 Missing name AND wrong pic. I'm on a roll here.
Anonymous
>>22270310 Honestly moth the pics fits
ThatGuywiththeOneAshfic !latXRxVvNs
Quoted By:
>>22270427 Even I'm forgetting the name
Anonymous
TheOnlyMoth
>>22270670 he's still alive, just ascended from pokemon fanfics.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22270789 Oh. Well that's anti-climactic.
Anonymous
>>22188928 Not sure anon. Someone also made a courtney one-shot and it's completed. It's NSFW, so heads up.
http://pastebin.com/Hf6HZBvc That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
That Guy with the One Ashfic here, with my Bi-threadly suggestions post, Christmas Edition! As we know by now, I'm doing an anime fanfiction where Ash finally stands face to face with his own mediocrity and strives to face it. He leaves the Kalos region and one month trips to the past five regions to try and wrap up a lot of old promises and to find himself, before returning to Kalos to finish the league. I have the plot frame put in place but I'm wondering what you guys would want to see in a fanfic like this. Keep in mind these plot points are already planned.
http://pastebin.com/8jLdE9zu As always is there anything that you guys would like to see out of the Anime that would only ever come to pass in Fanfic form?
TheOnlyMoth
>>22273107 oh boy a Courtney fic!
>3rd word wall in a row That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
Quoted By:
>>22273196 I've never noticed that this was gif before
Anonymous
is the "c" in cashmere capitalized?
TheOnlyMoth
Quoted By:
>>22273509 >cashmere it would be if something has that word in a name/rank (such as a title). Otherwise, make it lower case.
Anonymous
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22254968 Olivine City Romance has the best written battles of any fic I have ever read.
Butler !!vQF061dDoa/
Anonymous
Anonymous
>>22273190 Heres somethings I would find intresting.
>From season one there was a guy who won a hundred battle streak. At the time he had a sandshrew. Have him return and undefeated. They promised to meet up again and of course that never happened.
>Something to wrap up Gary and Ashs rivalry > something involving his championship win back in Orange Islands. Like a champions reunion. >Ho-oh needs to be reconized in some way, shape, or form. >something involving Tracey growing as a character. Hes been under Oak for years now with no growth. Thats what I got.
Anonymous
>>22279154 Ash promised to meet up with a lot of people/pokemon and never returned, ever.
Anonymous
>>22280945 >ash remembers he promised to meet up with someone >finally gets around to it >finds them hanging in their room >the words "I WAITED FOR YOU" carved over every inch of the room That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
>>22279154 >From season one there was a guy who won a hundred battle streak. At the time he had a sandshrew. Have him return and undefeated. Interesting, on list of considered.
>Something to wrap up Gary and Ashs rivalry Honestly it was already wrapped up in the Silver League. Bah, screw it. I'd love to see that Gary son of a bitch come back. On the list.
>Something involving his championship win back in Orange Islands. Like a champions reunion. Not really sure what you mean by this.
>Ho-oh needs to be reconized in some way, shape, or form. Ho-oh is returning for a major plot line in Kanto related to Lugia
We finally get that Luga Vs. Ho-oh battle the anime promised us , and for smaller character development in Johto. So it's already on the list.
>something involving Tracey growing as a character. Hes been under Oak for years now with no growth. While Tracy will be returning as character for a short time, I honestly don't have much planned to do with him. Unless of course you got some suggestions to do with him. I'd love to develop that rock we call a character.
TheOnlyMoth
>>22281684 >Not really sure what you mean by this. I don't remember the details, but I think the Orange Island League was the only league that Ash had actually WON, so he's technically a champion over there. Anon is suggesting that he revists the island for a reunion
or to defend his title for the next league tournament, only for Tobias to come in and stomp him to the ground, again ThatGuywiththeOneAshfic !latXRxVvNs
Quoted By:
>>22282463 >>22279154 Oh, okay that sounds pretty good. Now on the list.
ThatGuywiththeOneAshfic !latXRxVvNs
How would you rewrite "presented her back for him to ride" to sound less lewd?
SadIdiot !f37barISTA
>>22283822 It's fine as it is. It's not a lewd line unless you deliberately try to see it that way.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22284839 guess that means the author just has a dirty mind
:^)
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22281128 Why do I want this so bad? Anonymous
>>22281684 For the love of God, do something about the GS Ball, as well!
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22283822 BackSIDE, now, does sound lewd. Dunno what you were thinking.
Anonymous
>>22286814 he's still trying to find a way to work with it. it's not easy. Not at all.
Anonymous
>>22286887 Well, it was a neutered story line that made no sense with the then upcoming series. I would not be surprised at all if his powers of Fanatic Retcon are limited as much.
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22175790 Still wont stop her from being the best flower.
That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
Quoted By:
>>22286908 >>22286814 >>22286887 I'm thinking of retying it to the current Mega Evolution plot that I have going on. Read the spoiler if you want to know more.
Basically my story climaxes when our villain of choice fails to use Zygarde to destroy the world, ala Lysandre style. My idea is some how tying the GS ball to be the two mega stones that Zygarde uses to mega evolve to do the actual world destroying. The issue is of course that Zygarde doesn't have one let alone two megas. Though they may be revealed soon. That Guy with the One Ashfic !latXRxVvNs
Anyone wanna take a look at the christmas oneshot I'n working on? I have to warn you, it's purely rough. No editing done. And it's an anime ship fic. So don't read if you're not okay with that stuff.
Anonymous
>>22289579 If you're still here I'm interested in reading it
Anonymous
Butler !!vQF061dDoa/
Anonymous
[indiscriminate shitposting]
Anonymous
>>22291513 >This is what team aqua actually believes.jpg Anonymous
>>22291524 Hoenn is basically an entire region filled with people with fetal alcohol syndrome
Anonymous
Quoted By:
>>22291543 Oh god, that one is even worse cause that actually raises the water level.
This bothers me more than it should.
Anonymous
