/vp/ - Pokémon » Thread #22536143

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Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 04:39:58 No.22536143 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>22536152 >>22536154 >>22536209 >>22538233 >>22540137

Can you imagine if Pokemon were real. Sure a lot of people would own the cute ones. But then some fucker would own a Mankey and have that fucker punch everyone in the cock.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 04:41:43 No.22536152 Report

Quoted By: >>22536569

>>22536143
>Be Kim Jong Un
>Have a shit country
>Have a shit haircut
>Have a shit job as a shit dictator in a shit country with a shit haircut
>Somehow find Giratina, Darkrai, and Yveltal
>Rule world

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 04:41:48 No.22536154 Report

Quoted By: >>22537015

>>22536143
Can't forget the 400 pound neckbeard who has only a Gardevoir that hasn't ever battled since it evolved, since he fears she'll get hurt.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 04:43:34 No.22536168 Report

Quoted By: >>22536179 >>22536184

Can you imagine all the people who'd get in trouble for throwing Koffings into people's houses?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 04:45:01 No.22536176 Report

Quoted By: >>22536187

I'd have a bird because fly, Meowth for payday/pickup, and I'd be a multi-dementional king with my nigga hoopa

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 04:45:34 No.22536179 Report

Quoted By:

>>22536168
You seen how big zubats and crobats are? people would get picked up and carried off.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 04:45:48 No.22536184 Report

Quoted By:

>>22536168
>not throwing voltorbs

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 04:45:53 No.22536187 Report

Quoted By:

>>22536176
>not having an adorable as fuck Zigzagoon with pick up.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 04:47:45 No.22536203 Report

Quoted By: >>22536219 >>22536263 >>22543055

would fucking your gardevoir/ditto be illegal?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO horrifying.png, 148KiB, 1000x1000

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 04:48:33 No.22536209 Report

Quoted By:

>>22536143
Militant groups breed Pokemon capable of learning Explosion en masse

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 04:49:23 No.22536219 Report

Quoted By: >>22536265

>>22536203
gay rights =/= pokemon rights

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Gijinka_Slugma.jpg, 41KiB, 512x512

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 04:49:38 No.22536225 Report

Quoted By: >>22536354 >>22540097

>nobody can hug slugma

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 04:51:33 No.22536241 Report

Quoted By: >>22537039

I would have my Pangoro wear an apron and sweep my house and help me cook dinner

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 04:53:17 No.22536257 Report

Quoted By: >>22536285

How would one protect their furniture from pokemon like Scyther?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 04:53:56 No.22536263 Report

Quoted By: >>22536285 >>22536286

>>22536203
gay marriage passed in some places, assuming your pokemon and you arent both male rabbi shekelstein golberg himself would be attending your wedding

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 04:53:57 No.22536265 Report

Quoted By:

>>22536219
how is this at all relevant?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 04:56:12 No.22536285 Report

Quoted By:

>>22536257
Leather scythewraps>>22536263

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 04:56:16 No.22536286 Report

Quoted By: >>22537216

>>22536263
And then a fucking Golbat comes and mauls your lover.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 05:04:26 No.22536354 Report

Quoted By: >>22536396 >>22536401

>>22536225
wrap your hands in foil

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO image.jpg, 27KiB, 500x500

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 05:07:30 No.22536390 Report

Quoted By:

"You see this Yamask? That's the last guy who called me an idiot"

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 05:08:04 No.22536396 Report

Quoted By: >>22536401

>>22536354
are you stupid? try to wrap yours in foil and then go touch lava, see how it ends

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 05:08:57 No.22536401 Report

Quoted By:

>>22536354
tsk tsk anon

>>22536396
you need less shitty pokemon.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 05:10:44 No.22536414 Report

Quoted By: >>22536481

My team would be my personal harem. 1 poke for each day of the weak and 1 day off.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 05:18:59 No.22536476 Report

Quoted By:

So there I was with my girlfriend, when suddenly, a group of Machoke broke into my house and started lifting everything in sight.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO fetish.png, 191KiB, 600x638

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 05:19:34 No.22536481 Report

Quoted By:

>>22536414

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 05:23:13 No.22536522 Report

Quoted By: >>22536551

It would happen as with pitbulls today.

Retards saying: Mankeys are too dangerous! think of the children! ban Mankeys!

Idiots saying: But muh mankey wouldn't hurt a flygon!

Faggots saying: Blame the trainer not the Pokémon!

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 05:26:22 No.22536551 Report

Quoted By:

>>22536522
And then their dad buys them a Mankey.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 05:28:08 No.22536569 Report

Quoted By: >>22537277

>>22536152
>Dedenne used Play Rough!
That's a shit team

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 06:00:06 No.22536808 Report

Quoted By: >>22536831

>punching people in the cock
what are you gay?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 06:04:49 No.22536831 Report

Quoted By: >>22536905

>>22536808
Fine, in the butt then.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 06:09:37 No.22536869 Report

Quoted By: >>22536907

>Not using a dozen drifloons to kidnap toddlers for ransom money.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 06:15:16 No.22536905 Report

Quoted By: >>22536958

>>22536831
Like, inside the butt? How deep are we talking here?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 06:15:54 No.22536907 Report

Quoted By: >>22537001 >>22537027

>>22536869
i'd rather fuck them

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 06:26:17 No.22536958 Report

Quoted By:

>>22536905
Up to Mankey's elbow.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 06:35:25 No.22537001 Report

Quoted By:

>>22536907
Muh nigguh! ;^)

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 06:38:27 No.22537014 Report

Quoted By:

I can't be the only one who believed as a kid that pokemon were real but only in japan

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 06:38:39 No.22537015 Report

Quoted By:

>>22536154
>Can't forget the 400 pound neckbeard who has only a Gardevoir that hasn't ever battled since it evolved, since it's locked in his mother's basement to be used as a sex slave.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 06:40:01 No.22537024 Report

Quoted By:

I'd be the asshole who knocks tractors skywards with a Ryhorn.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 06:40:19 No.22537027 Report

Quoted By: >>22537044

>>22536907
The drifloons or the toddlers?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 06:43:40 No.22537039 Report

Quoted By:

>>22536241
that's fuckin adorable

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO image.jpg, 22KiB, 426x230

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 06:44:27 No.22537044 Report

Quoted By:

>>22537027

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1393568244370.gif, 1MiB, 392x294

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 07:19:07 No.22537216 Report

Quoted By:

>>22536286
>And then a fucking Golbat comes in and mauls your lover.

Made my fucking night right there...

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 07:22:34 No.22537239 Report

Quoted By: >>22538273 >>22540120

Magcargo's internal body temperature can reach over18,000 degrees Fahrenheit

Goodbye earth

who?

who? Thu 15 Jan 2015 07:24:00 No.22537247 Report

Quoted By:

have any of you ever read on how some pokemon actually came to be? this world would be fucked lol

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 07:25:43 No.22537258 Report

Quoted By: >>22537439

I've considered this pretty seriously with my friends. We came to the conclusion that lots of people would appreciate nature and life a lot more than they do currently.

Obviously, Pokemon are way more intense than rl animals and can actually fight back when you fuck with them as evidenced in several examples that escape me now.

Tl; dr: if the games are anything to go by, people would fuck up the world majorly and then an age of relative peace would come (ala the theorized Pokemon wars pre Gen 1 and the legit war 3k years ago)

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 07:28:15 No.22537277 Report

Quoted By:

>>22536569
Well I was going for the real-life aspect of it. I figured Darkrai, Giratina and Yveltal under the rule of Kim could easily bring the world to heel given that no one in the pokemon universe has much connections with legendaries and the ones that do only have a connection to one or so.
No, if I was going for the competitive aspect, you would just go grab M-Ray, the Primals and some smogon-mons and be done with it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 07:57:32 No.22537439 Report

Quoted By:

>>22537258
Because Pokemon can fight back when you fuck them are you saying Pokephile is ok because of implied consent?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 08:41:57 No.22537626 Report

Quoted By: >>22537642

>Muggers comes up to you in alley way
>you scare him off with poke-bros.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 08:45:55 No.22537642 Report

Quoted By: >>22537647 >>22538245

>>22537626
>you reach for your Pokeball
>the crackhead stabs you and takes your Pokemon

It's like you've never been mugged before.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 08:46:45 No.22537647 Report

Quoted By:

>>22537642
Well, our eyes met, we gotta Pokebattle now.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1298140893053.jpg, 18KiB, 244x251

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 09:23:27 No.22537782 Report

Quoted By: >>22538079

>the year of Our Lord 2015
>not owning a Mankey
>not having that Mankey trained to only punch cocks when you need backup, or a distraction

it's like you haven't spent the last 12 years daydreaming about owning a cockpunching pigmonkey

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 10:26:56 No.22538079 Report

Quoted By:

>>22537782
He'll be punching your cock too when he's angry.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 10:58:31 No.22538233 Report

Quoted By: >>22540340

>>22536143
>President Obama gets asked to show proof that he is not actually a Zoroark

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 11:00:39 No.22538245 Report

Quoted By:

>>22537642
>implying you would never have your best mon out at all times, walking the streets

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 11:06:17 No.22538273 Report

Quoted By:

>>22537239
Well if Pokemon were real, a majority of the Pokedex entries would be physically impossible.
That's when you get creative with your answer. :^)

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1419368289858.jpg, 576KiB, 1600x1200

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 11:47:26 No.22538425 Report

Quoted By: >>22538732 >>22540123 >>22543138

>get typhlosion
>snuggle in bed every nightwould NOT fuck
>now that I got an excersize nuddy, jogs before the sun comes up
>she helps me work on vehicles
>she wears a plaid button up shirt
>sleves rolled up
>wifebeater under-shirt
>use her badass sense of smell to hunt wild hogs

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 12:58:52 No.22538732 Report

Quoted By: >>22540046

>>22538425
Typhlosion exists in Asia.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 16:33:45 No.22540046 Report

Quoted By:

>>22538732
>honey badger

If only they where domesticated(thanks Fringe for coming up with that idea)

after I wrote this, I got your joke, le ebin yeller humen maymay

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 16:40:38 No.22540097 Report

Quoted By:

>>22536225
Magma suit, anyone?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 16:43:06 No.22540120 Report

Quoted By:

>>22537239

Pokemon world physics =/= earth physics

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 16:43:27 No.22540123 Report

Quoted By:

>>22538425
>would NOT fuck
Yes you would.
You disgusting fuck.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1377236690873.jpg, 21KiB, 450x355

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 16:45:25 No.22540137 Report

Quoted By:

>>22536143
>But then some fucker would own a Mankey and have that fucker punch everyone in the cock.
I thought I was the only one who would legitimately do this if I could.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 17:15:20 No.22540340 Report

Quoted By:

>>22538233
“hitler was a zoroark“

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 22:13:30 No.22542785 Report

Quoted By: >>22543072

Animal Abuse would be lowered drastically. You can't abuse a fucking magma slug. Well... Maybe verbally.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 22:40:16 No.22543055 Report

Quoted By: >>22543077 >>22543151

>>22536203

No, unless it was non-consensual. Gardevoirs are very intelligent, in fact, more intelligent than most humans.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 22:42:02 No.22543072 Report

Quoted By: >>22543157 >>22543201

>>22542785
What exactly do you say to a lava slug to hurt its feelings?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 22:42:34 No.22543077 Report

Quoted By:

>>22543055

That being said, I doubt any of you could fit it in. Gardevoir has the proportions of a toothpick.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 22:50:48 No.22543138 Report

Quoted By:

>>22538425

>get typhlosion
>house burns down because of fire on its back

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Harkness test.png, 229KiB, 1051x1393

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 22:51:59 No.22543151 Report

Quoted By:

>>22543055

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 22:52:18 No.22543157 Report

Quoted By:

>>22543072
You're too slow! Cum on step it up!

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 22:56:30 No.22543201 Report

Quoted By:

>>22543072
>You call yourself a lava slug? I've seen icebergs more like lava than your sorry ass.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO realistic_pokemon__galvantula_by (...).jpg, 59KiB, 550x449

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 22:58:21 No.22543222 Report

Quoted By: >>22543261

I wouldn't mind having one of these in my house.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 15 Jan 2015 23:02:35 No.22543261 Report

Quoted By:

>>22543222

I'd shit myself if that's what the common house spider turned into. Christ, it would be like living in Australia again.

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