I'm drunk out of my fucking mind /vp/

Would you dress up in various pokemon onesies and let me snuggle up with you in bed for cash? And do other things besides...
I'm pretty okay looking but I'm just shit when it comes to sex. I'm just shit. I'd never be able to bag myself a date because I'm a fucking beta and

I've made it pretty big on the stock markets, and coupled with my career choice this has landed me fuck tonne of money and a fucking good income. I live in britain, just say the word and I'll pay for you to come over here and live with me forever (until you get bored or I somehow lose my ability to maths)

I dunno, worth a shot. I want someone who can actually get into it, this isn't a stupid joke. Name your price