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Squirtle for starter since I'm not interesting in fucking animals. I'd rather fuck the trainer girls I encounter.
Caterpie for first catch. Sleep Powder could be pretty helpful, and free drugs is always a plus.
2nd catch are all losers, but Sandshrew sounds like the best of the bunch. Finding useful stuff is okay, and I like that he's a team player, so he sounds the best. Just so long as he doesn't leave sand where it might get in a potential girlfriend's vagina. Last thing I need is sand up the ureety while I'm enjoying an otherwise nice fuck.
3rd Catch I'll take Meowth for the money. I've dealt with cats before, so I know if they try to steal from me and the kind of things they'd want to steal, shiny stuff and meat. I'll treat him good, so he'll have no reason to steal from me, only other people.
4th catch, I'll take Eevee and go for turning it into Flareon. No interest in fucking it, just want the respect and intimidation factor when going into battles. She can go fuck Meowth if she gets horny, I guess.
For Legendary Catch, I'll take Moltres, since Zapdos and Mewtwo sound like they're trying to shit up the world and Articuno is a pussy. While my team might not look like Elite 4 material on the surface, I've got Flareon for beating up those Ice types Lorelei uses (except the ones that are part water, I guess I could try and hardass those with Butterfree), I've got Butterfree and Moltres for taking down Bruno, Blatoise for his two fucking Onixes. I've got Persian for taking down Agatha's ghost types, and I can just teach Blastoise ice Beam to take down Lance's dragons. I gotta take a lot of full restores and revives, just in case, though.
Even if I lose, I can forgive Moltres for roasting me. Hopefully we could still be friends. Hopefully.