/vp/ - Pokémon » Thread #22849227

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Pokemon in real life

Anonymus Thu 19 Feb 2015 16:31:51 No.22849227 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>22849237 >>22849659 >>22851406 >>22854063 >>22859158 >>22859207 >>22860440

If you could have any pokemon in real life what wold it be and why

I would have a Weavile so it can slit the throats of my enemies

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 16:32:58 No.22849237 Report

Quoted By:

>>22849227
Ow the edge.

Is that the reply you wanted OP?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 16:35:54 No.22849250 Report

Quoted By:

I would want a honedge to go with my collection of swords and shadow sneak behind my enemies

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 16:36:52 No.22849253 Report

Quoted By:

I would have a abra so I can teleport behind all my enemies

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 16:37:27 No.22849256 Report

Quoted By:

Arceus

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 16:38:20 No.22849263 Report

Quoted By:

Yveltal because it's a qt.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 16:38:45 No.22849266 Report

Quoted By:

I would want a charizard to burn my enemies and that I may watch them suffer and laugh at their demise

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 16:38:56 No.22849268 Report

Quoted By:

More than one pokemon or just one?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 16:41:59 No.22849281 Report

Quoted By:

I want Dugtrio so i can put it up my bootyhole

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 16:46:02 No.22849297 Report

Quoted By: >>22849457 >>22854053 >>22854065

I'm picking the best possible option because we could do literally anything together. Sexytime included. :^)

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 16:46:56 No.22849305 Report

Quoted By: >>22856167

I would have a Hoppip so it can slit the throats of my enemies.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 16:47:19 No.22849307 Report

Quoted By: >>22864711

Torterra so I can grow some dank on his back

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 16:49:06 No.22849319 Report

Quoted By: >>22849335

I would have voltorb to stab my enemies from behind

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 16:49:14 No.22849320 Report

Quoted By:

Arcanine, because why wouldn't you want a big, badass fire dog-tiger?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 16:51:02 No.22849333 Report

Quoted By: >>22864711

Aggron because he is my nigger. My giant metal eating metalhead nigger that's made of metal.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 16:51:05 No.22849335 Report

Quoted By:

>>22849319
gotta go fast

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:04:49 No.22849457 Report

Quoted By: >>22849485

>>22849297
Mew would be the best option assuming it can transform into any pokemon at will.

You basically have every pokemon

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:08:27 No.22849485 Report

Quoted By: >>22849492

>>22849457
>not Jirachi

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:08:30 No.22849486 Report

Quoted By:

I would want a scolipede. Big giant puppy-like bug that I can ride. No need fora vehicle around town, when I have a 8ft bug with speed boost.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:09:45 No.22849492 Report

Quoted By: >>22849559

>>22849485
>only awake for one day out of 1,000 years

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:18:17 No.22849559 Report

Quoted By: >>22849612

>>22849492
>seven days
>not just wishing Jirachi out of having to go back to sleep

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:23:58 No.22849600 Report

Quoted By: >>22849642

Golurk because nigger do you not want to fly on the back of a gigantic ghostly robot?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:24:49 No.22849605 Report

Quoted By: >>22849647

I guess I would have to say Salamence. Flying around on it would be pretty awesome.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:26:07 No.22849612 Report

Quoted By:

>>22849559
Oh my mistake, 7 days out of 364,000, how could I forget

>i wish jirachi to be awake forever
>i wish for infinite wishes
>just buy more money
>plug the extension cord into itself

ゾトレ・キージー

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ゾトレ・キージー Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:26:23 No.22849614 Report

Quoted By: >>22849714

Pic related.
If you have the ancestor of all Pokémon, you can get every Pokémon.

Even if there's only one, the first organism had to be able to asexually reproduce to make more

Also, inb5 Arceusists telling me Arceus created all Pokémon

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:30:28 No.22849642 Report

Quoted By:

>>22849600
Great taste. Having your own Iron Giant would be pretty rad, especially with the flying around on a rocket ghost robot.

ゾトレ・キージー

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ゾトレ・キージー Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:30:58 No.22849647 Report

Quoted By:

>>22849605
It only gets .3 meters longer as Mega Salamence

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:32:33 No.22849659 Report

Quoted By:

>>22849227
I'd take bellsprout, so I can sneak up behind my enemies and strangle them with my plant.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:41:47 No.22849714 Report

Quoted By: >>22851319

>>22849614
Arceus created Dialga, Palkia, Giratina, Uxie, Mesprit, Azelf, and then Mew who then created all remaining Pokemon. I don't see how this shit's hard to understand.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:45:40 No.22849736 Report

Quoted By: >>22849739 >>22851485 >>22862477

Floofy cloud dragon any day.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:46:14 No.22849739 Report

Quoted By: >>22849741 >>22849749

>>22849736
go fuck yourself altariafag

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:46:49 No.22849741 Report

Quoted By: >>22849751

>>22849739
Altaria is not a shitmon. It is great in every way

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:47:36 No.22849747 Report

Quoted By:

Chancey
So we may hard boil eggs in the skulls of our enemys filled with their blood.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:47:52 No.22849749 Report

Quoted By:

>>22849739
>Baww, someone likes what I don't like

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 17:47:55 No.22849751 Report

Quoted By:

>>22849741
>can't even read properly
Why am I not surprised you're all this thick?

ゾトレ・キージー

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ゾトレ・キージー Thu 19 Feb 2015 20:54:10 No.22851319 Report

Quoted By: >>22862493

>>22849714
There's no evidence that Arecus created the universe; if so, shouldn't it be more powerful than Mega Pokémon? Even the Pokédex, which is audacious enough to say that Wailmer eats ten-thousand times its body weight every day, only says that Arceus created the universe according to legends.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 21:04:08 No.22851390 Report

Quoted By:

There are so many reasons why.

Burn shit to a crisp, fly around, play with FUCKIN' MOTHRA, and have a heater during the winter.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 21:04:33 No.22851394 Report

Quoted By:

Love your weavs

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 21:06:32 No.22851406 Report

Quoted By: >>22855476 >>22864711

>>22849227
Thats really dumb

Id want weavile so I can pet his by the fire

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 21:16:21 No.22851485 Report

Quoted By:

>>22849736
You must not live somewhere cold. Flying through the snow would kill your bro

In other news, the individuals of /vp/ have a surprising amount of sworn enemies in their lives, apparently.

I'd have a Hypno, so he could help me get the classy pussy, with only shit-pussy level effort.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 21:22:16 No.22851537 Report

Quoted By: >>22852703

Xerneas because I fear death more than the worst torture

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 23:41:45 No.22852703 Report

Quoted By: >>22852717

>>22851537

>never die

That's a terrible thing to wish for yourself.

Example: Say you got burned to a crisp RIGHT after you got shotgun blasted into the throat for looking like a zombie to a hobo. You'll never die, that's fine, but you'll always feel the pain. The seering, stinging, hemorrhaging pain.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 23:44:30 No.22852717 Report

Quoted By: >>22852803

>>22852703
So to live forever I can't heal from injuries? I don't get what you're saying here

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 23:50:09 No.22852763 Report

Quoted By:

Granbull because it's a dog and dogs are pretty easy to care for, but it still gets to do cool fairy stuff.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Feb 2015 23:54:52 No.22852803 Report

Quoted By: >>22852991

>>22852717
Some injuries don't heal, it may take a while but you'll eventually be doomed to be an animate vegetable forever, or perhaps even eventually a puddle somewhere.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 00:24:32 No.22852991 Report

Quoted By:

>>22852803

Exactly the point! I get that the fear of death exists, but if nothing heals (Say, MRSA of the balls or a flesh-eating virus), I don't think living would be comfy.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 02:03:16 No.22853784 Report

Quoted By:

Mine is Shuckle, because it makes the best juice out of anything, is invincible to most things not involving pokemon, and ultimately is a cool little worm-fungus-thingy.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 02:19:43 No.22853905 Report

Quoted By: >>22856097

Banette cause it's a friend

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 02:27:20 No.22853945 Report

Quoted By:

I would have a Meganium because despite the petals it still is a fucking dinosaur and it probably can do photosynthesis so I don't have to feed it or clean its poop.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 02:31:00 No.22853966 Report

Quoted By:

aggron or giratina cos badassness

N !!HUBXGXyPg7N

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N !!HUBXGXyPg7N Fri 20 Feb 2015 02:40:42 No.22854031 Report

Quoted By: >>22854040

Gardevoir because i would finally have a gf
>pic related, feels guy is me

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 02:41:45 No.22854040 Report

Quoted By:

>>22854031
omg they copied zara's design

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 02:43:30 No.22854053 Report

Quoted By:

>>22849297
That art is disgusting.
>those bulging legs
What the fuck

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 02:44:02 No.22854056 Report

Quoted By:

Source of electricity if the power goes out, and it seems like it would be a neat pet

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 02:45:52 No.22854063 Report

Quoted By: >>22864711

>>22849227
My shiny Garchomp because shiny and I could fly around the world with him and mega evolve his ass when I got into a fight

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 02:46:12 No.22854065 Report

Quoted By:

>>22849297
jesus fuck it looks like it's got mutated and swollen limbs

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 04:44:27 No.22854797 Report

Quoted By:

Ghosts make great bro's

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 05:11:42 No.22854978 Report

Quoted By:

Deoxys, so I could explode the brains of my enemies

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 06:23:28 No.22855421 Report

Quoted By:

Its bitch-slap would tear a hole in your jaw and then break your teeth.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 06:32:19 No.22855476 Report

Quoted By:

>>22851406
Not only are you controversial, but you can't even create controversy with proper grammar. Step up.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 06:46:21 No.22855557 Report

Quoted By:

Hoopa because Hoopa is a bro and can become a Djinn and so we can become interdimensional space pirates. Can't dupe the Hoops m80

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 06:53:25 No.22855596 Report

Quoted By: >>22864711

With a Legendary Pokemon, Xerneas because fuck it eternal life why not

Non-Legendary, Torterra. He could basically be a big travelling home, if you threw a big tarp or something over the tree and rocks.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 07:03:16 No.22855656 Report

Quoted By: >>22864711

If I had a bulbasaur I would never fall down a cliff because he could catch me with vine whip.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 09:51:24 No.22856097 Report

Quoted By:

>>22853905

Keep this in mind!

Had a bad day? Want the world to die? Are you going to attempt an Adam Lanza?

BANETTE WILL STOP YOU!

Banette has a weird mechanism in which literally all of your hate, rage, and general anger will be absorbed into IT instead of you, thus relieving you of stress for all the time it's there for you. It's a doll in which Billy Mays would sponsor the shit out of!

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 10:15:48 No.22856167 Report

Quoted By:

>>22849305

Oh hey JWittz, I had no idea you went on these boards.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 21:16:18 No.22859054 Report

Quoted By: >>22859078 >>22864711

I wish Houndoom was real, but then I realized the Doberman and the Rottweiler exist, defeating his niche as "awesome guard dog".

If it was possible, though, I'd wish for a fire-breathing Doberman with bones around its neck. It would be so badass. That, and it literally roasts everything it wishes to eat, so I don't even need to worry about feeding it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 21:18:21 No.22859071 Report

Quoted By:

Id have a bisharp..... we'd be partner's............ plus were weary much alike......

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 21:19:08 No.22859078 Report

Quoted By:

>>22859054
Just buy your doberman a boney collar and feed him some chili peppers.
Who cares if the fire comes out the wrong end?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 21:22:18 No.22859102 Report

Quoted By: >>22859350

I would get Gardevoir. Not because of the waifu shit, just because it would be so useful in real life.

>Will protect you
>Can make black holes
>Can detect feelings
>Is adorable

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 21:25:22 No.22859118 Report

Quoted By: >>22859133

I'd want a Growlithe because I'm a dog person and fuck heating bills.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 21:27:44 No.22859133 Report

Quoted By: >>22859191

>>22859118
>Not going the extra mile and saying Arcanine so you also have a big ass dog you can ride around places.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 21:30:49 No.22859149 Report

Quoted By: >>22862441 >>22864711

I want an Exploud, he could scream so loud I would no longer be able to hear my dad shouting at my mom.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 21:32:07 No.22859158 Report

Quoted By:

>>22849227
I want Charizard to protect me from my dad and beat up bullies and kill people like Barry from school. Fuck you Barry . I'm not giving you anymore bloey joeys.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 21:39:25 No.22859191 Report

Quoted By:

>>22859133
Because Growlithe is a puppy.
I like raising dogs from puppies. I can train him to do tricks and walk on a leash and look adorable while I talk to girls. Plus it'll give us more time together, assuming their lifespan is at all like a real dog's.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 21:41:27 No.22859207 Report

Quoted By:

>>22849227
2 Ditto, so I can bring back dinosaurs with proper structures to survive this time period.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 22:00:02 No.22859350 Report

Quoted By:

>>22859102
>I would get Gardevoir. Not because of the waifu shit
Sure

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 20 Feb 2015 23:17:51 No.22859943 Report

Quoted By: >>22864494

Landorus! He will start your farming business, make crops grow to the highest heavens and at rapid speed, AND he's an awesome guy to be around. Seriously, he'll be your wingman, your financial advisor, your gymnast buddy, and of course, your bro!

...Although he does have a secret. Every time he gets drunk or infuriated, be gains tiger features and scares the shit out of you, even if you're NOT the target he's mad at. Stay away from him in this phase, or else he'll claw you out of instinct (He'd be dreadfully sorry for that, though, by making rare ointments out of his plants.)

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 00:34:48 No.22860427 Report

Quoted By:

Ludicolo would make great nachos.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 00:37:08 No.22860440 Report

Quoted By:

>>22849227
Gothitelle so it could predict the future and tell me the winning lotto numbers.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 01:53:43 No.22860949 Report

Quoted By:

A Psychic type for sure, I want to be able to fucking talk to my pokemon and know we could discuss shit, even if it is about stupid things. Or a Misdreavus.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 04:35:23 No.22861922 Report

Quoted By: >>22863878 >>22864711

Deoxys because I bet she would be great for cuddles and a good friend.

Plus flying around on a psychic alien.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 05:33:55 No.22862281 Report

Quoted By:

Tropius. I'll just go on adventures with my flying fruit dinosaur buddy.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 06:08:40 No.22862441 Report

Quoted By:

>>22859149
underrated post.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 06:13:09 No.22862477 Report

Quoted By:

>>22849736
This is my pick. Friendly, formidable, and fluffy.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 06:16:01 No.22862493 Report

Quoted By:

>>22851319
>if so, shouldn't it be more powerful than Mega Pokémon?
Power creep is real, anon

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 12:32:43 No.22863878 Report

Quoted By:

>>22861922
at what point do things have to go wrong enough in your life that you become attracted to a cartoon of a dna alien and fantasize about them in maids outfits? genuinely curious here.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 12:36:50 No.22863897 Report

Quoted By: >>22864142

This happy mother fucker right here. Always smiling.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 12:39:55 No.22863911 Report

Quoted By:

Persian for electric/water shooting cat and payday

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 13:47:59 No.22864142 Report

Quoted By:

>>22863897

Too bad the bombs dropped, and he got affected.

Poor Billy is contemplating suicide.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 13:53:18 No.22864157 Report

Quoted By:

Why is anyone taking this thread seriously?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 15:19:58 No.22864469 Report

Quoted By: >>22864521

Victini, by a long shot

>cute
>perfect shoulder mon
>psychic, so we could communicate
>fire type, so warm and perfect to snuggle
>gaurenteed victory
the victory could be applied to stuff like me vs. a test or my immune system vs. measles, so it's really useful

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 15:22:45 No.22864494 Report

Quoted By:

>>22859943
REMOVE GENIES

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 15:27:04 No.22864521 Report

Quoted By:

>>22864469
>the victory could be applied to stuff like me vs. a test or my immune system vs. measles, so it's really useful
Or your immune system vs the incredibly radioactive pokemon that follows you around.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 16:10:16 No.22864711 Report

Quoted By:

>>22855596
>>22855656
>>22859054
>>22859149
>>22861922
>>22849307
>>22849333
>>22851406
>>22854063
>he
>his
>him
>she

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 16:28:35 No.22864798 Report

Quoted By: >>22864964

This adorable piece of shit.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 21 Feb 2015 16:50:33 No.22864964 Report

Quoted By:

>>22864798
Same here

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