Yesterday, I went to my local park to get
outside time playing Pokémon go. I didn't
understand what the radar did, so I
ran around like crazy trying to find a kangaskhan in the Nearby list.

>Mfw no matter how I move, the radar won't budge

On my way to a beach,
my foot gets this weird fucking cramp.
When sit down and look,
it's got these blue bruises that
lighten up when press down.

>Limping over to the water spicket
>Didn't even notice the neck beard walking my way
I stiffen when some gravel flies at me.
>Entire air supply drowned in putrid musk
I look up and this fucking tub of lard
flops his way toward me
>"You playing Pokémon Go, anon?"
>Outright forgot that my phone was open in the grass next to me
>"uh, yeah... looking for a kangaskhan."
>"Dude, I just caught it. Didn't even have high CP."
>"o-oh okay..."
>nasal passages on fire
>turn to avoid a new assault of funk
>Raises a flabby arm and points into thin air
>"eh, what are doing?"
>"Pointing to an even rarer Pokémon"
>look in all directions in confusion, only to hear him say:
>"You need to read the first letter of every line"

My fucking face when.