OP here.
Please stop replying to this retarded thread. I made it as a dumb joke. I did not expect, let alone want, anyone to take it seriously. Stop.
When I made this thread, the exact thoughts going through my head were "I hope to god nobody fucking replies to this". Seriously, there are heaps upon piles of threads that go by unreplied to every day and you choose to focus your attention on THIS?
Stop perpetuating this kind of bullshit. Just fucking stop. It is a bad thread, a bad joke, a bad meme, and a bad excuse for a thought.
So stop. Just stop. Okay?