>>28595447So yeah I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday but before you consider me a complete Pariah here's why I decided to leave.
Basically it was a really unhealthy way to chat, no one would really have a conversation with me no matter how hard I really tried, so I'd end up talking to myself into a depressive spiral and when I'd finally throw a fit and get mad THEN everyone would suddenly care and talk to me and try to assure me to not go. They said they'd get better. They never did.
So I'd feel better thinking they'd converse more and the same thing would happen over and over until ultimately I came to ask "Why am I here in a pokemon RP Group?" and since I couldn't find a good answer, I left.
Now don't get me wrong I'm not asking for people to talk intensely in a super intellectual debate. Every time I tried to make it more relevant, tried to get some sort of spark to light a fire, and have some basic human interaction with my "Friends". That happened quite rarely and it was usually Nol, Poka, or Akira who sparked the conversation.
I realized I pretty much was getting the cold shoulder, and not sure why, given the plethora of reasons, I'm annoying, too scared to offend me, or the most likely, too busy to waste their time talking to me. It really hurt and I found myself more and more depressed each time I came in, until it finally exploded yesterday.
Now you might ask why I considered being quiet in an online chat such an insult, I was overreacting, being emo or whatever. Well here's the truth, I was mute for a good bit of my life, unable to talk to people even if I wanted to, and even now it really does hurt to speak, and my voice is usually too weak for anyone to really hear me.
EVEN THE RP GROUP DOESNT LIKE THEM
AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
