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Quoted By: >>30399620 >>30399678 >>30401618 >>30403623
>Be me, cop close to retirement
>Kahuna of island passes away so a new has to be picked
>lulimagineifitsme.jpg
>show up to shrine and we all take turns touching the stone
>justgetitoverwith.png
>I touch it and it starts glowing
>"God fucking damnit"
>Everyone there is the witness and I'm the new Kahuna
>"Are you sure he isn't just fucking with us?"
>"No no this is Tau Bulu's way of saying your the chosen one"
>Before I can reply I'm handed three boxes full of Darkium
>Ineveraskedforthis.png
>Trying to get home, struggling to carry these boxes of Darkium
>Youngster bumps into me
>Darkium all over the floor
>"Hey you're the new Kahuna right?"
>Challenges me to a battle
>Have like two of my house meowths on me at the time
>Kid throws out a grubbin and kicks their shit in.
>This is now everyday of my miserable life
>I just wanted to sleep
>I just wanted to retire
>Kahuna of island passes away so a new has to be picked
>lulimagineifitsme.jpg
>show up to shrine and we all take turns touching the stone
>justgetitoverwith.png
>I touch it and it starts glowing
>"God fucking damnit"
>Everyone there is the witness and I'm the new Kahuna
>"Are you sure he isn't just fucking with us?"
>"No no this is Tau Bulu's way of saying your the chosen one"
>Before I can reply I'm handed three boxes full of Darkium
>Ineveraskedforthis.png
>Trying to get home, struggling to carry these boxes of Darkium
>Youngster bumps into me
>Darkium all over the floor
>"Hey you're the new Kahuna right?"
>Challenges me to a battle
>Have like two of my house meowths on me at the time
>Kid throws out a grubbin and kicks their shit in.
>This is now everyday of my miserable life
>I just wanted to sleep
>I just wanted to retire
