>>31926338Gonna be my last post since you seem pretty set, though I do hope you take my advice. The only reason I've sat in this thread for so long is because I know you can get off those pills if you distance yourself from this empty pursuit. I think those pills are a sign you are chasing the wrong thing(given the information you have provided, it is likely not chemical). But I digress, literally every heterosexual "mans man" in the entire world likes cute things. That's why we marry women and have children, they are the literal epitome of cute.
Surrounding yourself with these artificial cute things like anime and the knick-knacks based on them are going to leave you more empty than you can fathom. I have crawled out of self inflicted depression like the one you are in now and currently am in a state of almost perpetual joy that rivals my childhood. And what I did to escape was I stopped trying to create a life around things that did not exist, I still (obviously) play pokemon and enjoy other frivolous things. But I do not let them act as a base for my happiness.
If you don't want to take my advice at least check out "Maslow's hierarchy of needs" and apply it rigorously to your life, this will keep suicidal thoughts and/or depression at bay if not eradicate it. I want you to live a long and happy life OP.
If you want to take my advice then stop confusing your want for cute things in your life as a need to BECOME that cute thing. Being an actual man is hard but it is infinitely rewarding and joyful. And if while being a man you want to have a cute pokemon key-chain or something, go for it! It's not all overstuffed leather chairs and whiskey, though I enjoy both.
God bless, OP.