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>Well she is very pretty, she wears a bright red summer dress and has auburn hair that almost mat-
AUBURN HAIR!!!
Brendan promise me you'll never go near that girl again!
>What? Why? What's the pro-
PROMISE!!!
>Alright, alright, I promise jeez.
Ugh, sorry about that Brendan. But you to know that girl you kids met is probably a Latias. Being quiet, being friendly, being flirty, and having auburn hair are all dead giveaways. The best advice I can give to you is to avoid all auburn/red haired girls, even if you're sure they're human. You may think to yourself, "Hey if I cozy up to this Latias she'll let me capture her and I'll have an OP legendary to pewn noobs," or whatever you kids say nowadays. But Latiases are nothing but a bunch of harpies. They don't want to battle, they just want to touch you everywhere Brendan. They spam Internet threads with their selfies, porn, cropped porn. If you aren't careful you might one night go to a strip club in Lilycove with your boys, and bring back home one of the girls. Then the next morning you'll wake up with a dragon/bird/plane in your bed. You may think it's cute and all fun, but in a week she'll leave you to chase any Latios that isn't her brother. Then you'll be forced by the government, damn bastards, to hand over half of your Champion salary in egg support. Do you want that Brendan?
>N-no sir.
Good. Now go tell May what I said to you. But hold the part about you liking that Latias....and what happen-, WILL, will happen to you if you don't stay away from red heads. Got it?
>Got it.
Good. Now get out of here.
