The roasted Espeon is served with asparagus and mashed potatoes, and presented in as attractive and tasteful a manner as such a dish could be. The meat is tender, but with a distinct texture, preventing an unwanted mushyness and giving my teeth something to properly sink into as the juices exude from the tissue pouring over my tongue.

With each bite my senses are stirred as residual psychic energy within the Espeon’s tissue flows into my brain, and memories of the creature’s life drift into my thoughts like the scent of incense in a crowded room.

I see, feel the warm hand of the Espeon’s trainer gentling his ears, the soft green grass beneath his paws as he scampered about the park chasing Beautifly, the rush of emotion and sensations the day he evolved, the titillating frenzy of joy and affection as he, under the setting sun, nestled lovingly by the Sylveon he adored so passionately.

And the fear, the sadness, the regret, of all of this being taken from him, of being trapped in that slaughterhouse knowing he was going to die, of the knife sinking into his throat in that brief, agonizing moment before the light of his little life blew out for eternity.

I could taste it all, feel it all, that whole lifetime playing out across my imagination and my taste buds as the slain Espeon’s life nourished my own.

Best meal I had ever had. Well worth the thirty dollars.

Yelp Review: 5 Stars