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FUKKEN SPOILERS
Don't say I didn't warn you.
The gen 8 Pokemon games will start with two games called Pokemon Hamburger and Pokemon Hotdog. Pokemon Taco will be dropped 6 months later, along with the StreetTaco companion device/phone app which will track your bites to help hatch/scramble eggs while you eat and/or play. They'll be released on the 3DS, Switch, and Wii because lord knows everybody has one of those goddamned things and sales are down. It won't matter which console you play it on, the graphics and frame rate will still be godawful.The starters will be a Grass-type sasquatch with huge tits and a coffee maker that eventually evolves into Grass/Water-type, a Water-type jackalope with antlers that eventually grow so big that it evolves into a Water/Fire-type for no good reason except now its antlers are on fire, and a Fire-type chupacabra on stilts that eventually evolves into a Fire/Grass-type rodeo clown...all set in New Jersey. It will revolve around Atlantic City, home of Team Guido, who control the region's whey industry and run the city from the shadows, guided by their evil leader Chad. You will begin as an obese 10yo American child named Taeshawn or Skylar depending on version, who gets lost after running from a routine school shooting but is quickly saved by Professor Wood who rewards you with your very own ElectrodeDex which self-destructs almost immediately. After that, you'll just record new Pokemon on the included notepad (pencil sold separately) and shop for fancy eyepatches. Ladies and gentlemen...your new games.
SUPER DUPER SPOILER ALERT OH FUCK
The legendaries will turn out to be an elephant and a donkey but they'll both suck and they'll be untradeable because fuck you.