OP, my man. These posts aren't funny. They're just sad.
Now I know, OP... as you are reading this, a smirk has just lit up across your face. You are pleased with yourself that you weirded someone out on the internet and even got some (you)s as a bonus. Mission accomplished!
But seriously. This is nothing more than you projecting your own depravity onto strangers because you've reached a tipping point and can't handle it alone. You're fucked up in the head, and you know this well. So you make light of your deviance as a coping mechanism. But more than anything, you're searching, desperately, for some sort of assurance that you're not alone.
In the end, this is really just a distressed plea for help masqueraded as a "le ebin ironic shitpost xD" for the whole world to see.
If you need anyone, OP, I'm here for you. Let me know if you're interested in exchanging email addresses.
[email protected] 
