Why can't we fucking evolve pikachu? I get there's the retarded anime > yellow lore to follow, but 20 years have passed, can we just decide to have a fucking raichu in the year of our lord 2018, since raichu is a great pokemon and there's zero reason why our pikachu would ever stop "loving" us if it became a raichu?
In pokemon yellow you could box your starter without regrets, in LGPE it becomes annoying because your pikachu is basically a powerhouse with perfect IVs and 60000 stats, with OP custom moves that oneshot everything with max crit and max speed, and he can additionally make you swim, fly, teleport and have sex with the picnic girls without the need for any HM slave.
Plus I fear that if I box him the game will turn against me somehow, i.e. NPCs not giving me stuff because WHERES YOUR MASCOT POKEMON WHY DOESN'T HE LOVE YOU, but maybe you people can reassure me about this.

tl;dr Raichu is one of the best pokemon, Pikachu is a retarded faggot but we are stuck with him if we want to play the game as intended.

Oh, and not being able to evolve Eevee is even more retarded.