>"My dear loyal human, Anon, I have bought you something special to conmemorate our first anni ersary together since I capture you."
>"There's no need to feel contrived, Anon. It's quite heartbreaking for me to see you like that... C-come on, cheer up and open your gift!"
>"Uhmmm... Here, let me unwrap the box for you. Maybe, what's inside my present will bright up the mood a little."
>"Arghh... the package is a bit tight... let's rip this... and this... and Ta-dah, your very own new collar!"
>Ah, delightful, right? I knew you were going to love... Oh, no, no, no! Don't cry now! I didn't wanted to make you feel like that!
>I'll groom you! ... Ugh... I'll give you one of these treats you humans love yoy so much! I'll do anything but stop crying, please!
Happy Christmas, bastards.
