I have been a loyal Blastoise fan ever since the 1998 release of Pokemon Blue for the Gameboy. The moment I saw this beautiful creature, I instantly ejaculated and became nine feet tall. Ever since then, I have collected all manner of merchandise and used a Blastoise in every run and in every game. (Yes, even Black and White. I hacked the games so I could obtain this perfect animal ) Every night I rigorously masturbate and pray to Blastoise in devotion. My home is a shrine dedicated to the eternal turtle god known as Blastoise. Yet, there is one thing that cannot stand. One thing that makes this absolutely perfect Pokemon imperfect. And that's it's firing animation.

Ever since the transition to 3D, my dick has been erect in hope that Blastoise would fire water attacks from his long, thick, and musky steel cannons. But I was denied. Perhaps because of early 3DS limitations? I awaited the next game with bated breath, cum-stained Blastoise plushie in hand. (Her name is Aqua.) I had hoped Game Freak had corrected themselves in their massive oversight, but I was denied yet again.