Gimme gimme Kanto memories,
Be they rage-inducing or happy stories.
Spend my hard-earned eShop points,
on Virtual Console games that I play in burger joints.
Masuda lifts me to my Gameboy,
To sell me Pikachu McDonalds toys,
Enjoy my lack of Crobat,
all while loving the singular Special stat.
Misty, Brock, Giovanni, Blaine,
But the new Gens just aren't the same.
Masuda gives me SM which is crappy,
But a new region doesn't make me happy.
RBY is the only game,
That I'll play since the rest are lame.
I'll scream and shout and throw a Stomping Tantrum,
I'll scratch, I'll bite, I'll even diss Tyrantrum!
Charmander is my heart's desire,
Fueled by raging, starter Pokemon fire.
GameFreak sobs and wails and gets even mean,
But tears aren't Sandshrews, Digletts or Goldeens.
My Gameboy was fairly earned,
To buy the gen 1 games that I've yearned.
But GF wanted me to get new games!
Do they really think I'll like designs from James?
"PIKACHU, EEVEE, GET THEM NOW,
YOU GALAR-SHILLING, UGLY SOW!"
I screech while hating on Decidueye,
No matter how many Alolan forms you make me try.
For he who tries to make a remake via Let's Go:
Never forget the beauty of original Kanto.
