/vp/ - Pokémon » Thread #38098724

[50 / 7 / ?]

61KiB, 250x250, alakazam.png

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 02:30:59 No.38098724 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>38098748 >>38098770 >>38098807 >>38098812 >>38101138 >>38101213 >>38101500 >>38101581 >>38101601 >>38103367 >>38103481 >>38105290

>Its brain rivals that of a super-computer
>It is said to have an IQ of 5,000
>IQ of 5,000
How have psychic Pokemon not utterly dominated and enslaved everything in the pokeverse?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 02:32:59 No.38098748 Report

Quoted By: >>38098764 >>38100969 >>38104842

>>38098724
They are smart but lack creativity and ambition. That is why they need trainers.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 02:33:10 No.38098751 Report

Quoted By: >>38100947

Pokedex is not canon
Magcargo aint hotter than the sun

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 02:33:15 No.38098753 Report

Quoted By:

Because they are so intelligent they became enlightened and don't care about that stuff

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 02:34:12 No.38098764 Report

Quoted By: >>38100990 >>38100998 >>38101179 >>38103525

>>38098748
>They are smart but lack creativity and ambition

Just like east asians compared to whites then
This also explains why its yellow

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 02:34:55 No.38098770 Report

Quoted By: >>38098807 >>38098925 >>38101113 >>38101230 >>38105039

>>38098724
>>38098724
Bug types are fucking everywhere, anon
>tfw Alakazam man with Alakazam wife, Kadabra daughter and Abra son
>Wife goe to check the mail
>Several minutes pass, you get worried
>You go down to your mailbox
>There's your wife, she was raped to death by Ladyba and Ledian
>You run home
>It's too late, your daughter was raped to death by a Galvantula and your son is just now being penetrated by a Pinsir
>Before you can even Mega-evolve to avenge them, a Butterfree grabs you and hoists you onto a thick, engorged Volcarona penis
Such is life

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 02:38:45 No.38098807 Report

Quoted By: >>38098925

>>38098724
They're afraid of ghosts and darkness.

>>38098770
and bugs.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 02:39:34 No.38098812 Report

Quoted By:

>>38098724
It would be easier to just get free food and shelter if it means only a few battles that you get healed from

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 02:52:34 No.38098925 Report

Quoted By: >>38099437 >>38100166 >>38100283 >>38100302

>>38098770
>>38098807
Who cares about that shit when you have an IQ of five fucking thousand? Some retard bugs/ghosts cant do shit at that point. The illuminati/world controllers of pokemon are probably a cabal of alakazam. They could effortlessly outsmart/manipulate anything against them or create flamethrowers/anti-ghost guns to fuck up their type disadvantages

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 03:51:19 No.38099437 Report

Quoted By:

>>38098925
I have yet to meet a man who can outsmart a bullet

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 05:42:24 No.38100166 Report

Quoted By: >>38101230

>>38098925
>Alakazam cabal meet under cover of darkness
>The most senior member shows up a bit late, he had some business to attend to
>Open door to secret lair
>The entire cabal has been raped to death by one single Drapion and its thee Skorupi children, and they just finished plucking the strings of the world order to legalize Dark/Poison/Bug as a viable triple typing exclusive to Drapion
>Suddenly, the fourth Skorupi you missed hits you with Infestation, there's no escape now
Such is life.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 376Metagross.png, 670KiB, 1280x1280

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 06:00:29 No.38100283 Report

Quoted By:

>>38098925
>The illuminati/world controllers of pokemon are probably a cabal of alakazam.
Brainlets get out

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 06:04:45 No.38100302 Report

Quoted By: >>38100323

>>38098925
The Pokedex entries are highly exaggerated and at this point most of the entries are most likely hyperbole or straight fiction (in universe canon)
Macargo (hotter than the sun) apparently

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 06:09:27 No.38100323 Report

Quoted By: >>38100940

>>38100302
It's more likely that Oak is a hack and automatically recording data doesn't work as well as he thought

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 08:41:19 No.38100940 Report

Quoted By: >>38101421 >>38101501 >>38105126

>>38100323
What if all of the batshit insane "Arceus is God, Palkia and Dialga created spacetime, Regigigas is Plate Tectonics, the legendary birds bring the seasons except Summer for some reason lol, Mew is the ancestor of everything, including God" shit are just Professor oaks senile ramblings that have no bearing on reality whatsoever? What if entire crime syndicates and ideological groups formed around the ramblings of a man who tells you to save your Master Ball for a Fearow?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 08:43:22 No.38100947 Report

Quoted By: >>38101236

>>38098751
Why not? You can create hotter temperatures on earth.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 08:47:36 No.38100965 Report

Quoted By:

their manlets lol

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 08:49:05 No.38100969 Report

Quoted By:

>>38098748
wheres my trainer? I need that too

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 08:54:32 No.38100990 Report

Quoted By:

>>38098764
but hes clearly based on a jew

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Tigermomtv.jpg, 111KiB, 250x350

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 08:56:20 No.38100998 Report

Quoted By: >>38101052 >>38101568

>>38098764
>east Asians
>not ambituous

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 09:09:40 No.38101052 Report

Quoted By:

>>38100998
I'd like to see her sweaty

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 09:24:18 No.38101113 Report

Quoted By: >>38101133

>>38098770
>Ledyba/Ledian
>doing anything

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 09:31:30 No.38101133 Report

Quoted By:

>>38101113
>40 Atk Ledyba Bug Bite vs. 61 HP / 80 Def Alakazam: 78-92 (29.3 - 34.5%) -- 6.6% chance to 3HKO
>60 Atk Ledian Bug Bite vs. 61 HP / 80 Def Alakazam: 108-128 (40.6 - 48.1%) -- 5.1% chance to 2HKO after hail damage

It would really only take a few to bring down an Alakazam. These are assuming shit evs, because they aren't competitive battlers, just a basic Alakazam wife and a pack of Ledyba and Ledian Pakis.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 09:33:08 No.38101138 Report

Quoted By:

>>38098724
They are kind.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 09:46:34 No.38101179 Report

Quoted By:

>>38098764
Unironically true. East Asians are so smart but those fucking brainlets didn’t even realise you could turn fireworks into giant weapons of mass destruction

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 09:53:05 No.38101213 Report

Quoted By:

>>38098724
alakazam can't remain under control so sabrina has to whip it

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 09:56:39 No.38101230 Report

Quoted By:

>>38098770
>>38100166
thanks for the chuckle

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 09:57:41 No.38101236 Report

Quoted By:

>>38100947
not to mention earth's core is about as hot as the sun's surface so it really aint all that

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 10:50:48 No.38101421 Report

Quoted By:

>>38100940
woah

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 11:07:42 No.38101500 Report

Quoted By:

>>38098724
Many reasons:
>Bugs and microscopic parasites make so much noise out there that it's impossible to cancel them out and be in an absolute state of deep thought required to utilise their uber IQ
>They're already enlightened so there's no need to rule tyrannically as there is objectively no benefit to do so according to their visions
>They're smart enough to understand their biological limits (their stats) and, whilst intelligent beyond belief, know this will not enable them to ascend in their physical and mortal ceilings, hence leading to the above point
Of course there's exceptions like psychic/ghost dual types that may have ill intentions but ultimately the pure psychic types make the most of their abilities on a practical level for the benefit of all living entities on the planet.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO MDpBoL4_d.jpg, 10KiB, 269x233

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 11:07:44 No.38101501 Report

Quoted By:

>>38100940
The poor senile old fool

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 11:19:28 No.38101568 Report

Quoted By: >>38101603

>>38100998
literally about lazy retarded sons with no ambition being pushed by their moms to actually do something.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 11:20:40 No.38101581 Report

Quoted By:

>>38098724
Pokeballs.

Those spherical bastards

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 11:23:40 No.38101601 Report

Quoted By:

>>38098724
what the fuck is that nerd going to do when i bite him? nothing thats wh

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 11:24:02 No.38101603 Report

Quoted By:

>>38101568
Well yeah but their moms are still east Asian is what I'm getting at.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 16:13:20 No.38103367 Report

Quoted By:

>>38098724
Life....is meaningless

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO Bucket.jpg, 134KiB, 600x800

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 16:29:22 No.38103481 Report

Quoted By: >>38103503 >>38103561

>>38098724
same reason you don't see any nigerian scientists, we're not all equal

anybody still remember a time when alakazam had that weird symbol on it's crotch? wonder what that was all about, or why they removed it

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 16:33:28 No.38103503 Report

Quoted By: >>38103541 >>38103597 >>38104929

>>38103481
All the Nigerians I know are really smart and ahead of everyone in my engineering classes anon.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 16:35:49 No.38103525 Report

Quoted By: >>38104919

>>38098764
What about the left ones? And how are Euros creative when they just copied 80% of what the Asians did?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 16:37:37 No.38103541 Report

Quoted By:

>>38103503
I always wonder if they go back to help Nigeria or stay in the West to keep their big salaries.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 16:39:56 No.38103561 Report

Quoted By: >>38103597

>>38103481
Do you guys even go outside or are you all flyover state retards?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO serena confused.png, 101KiB, 400x400

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 16:43:08 No.38103597 Report

Quoted By:

>>38103503
never seen one myself, so doubt

>>38103561
why so upset?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 19:08:15 No.38104842 Report

Quoted By:

>>38098748
>they need trainers
They don't do anything but battle when they're trained.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO pepedistorted.jpg, 48KiB, 639x582

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 19:12:00 No.38104867 Report

Quoted By:

>iq of 5000
>brain rivals a super-computer
If only OP had any reading comprehension. A super computer is incapable of thinking by itself, it's very good at calculations, so when you compare it with a human in doing arithmetics and logic it might very well come out on top with 5000 IQ in that limited domain. The poor creature carries around two spoons ffs, it's basically an autistic calculator.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 19:17:50 No.38104919 Report

Quoted By: >>38105226

>>38103525
reverse that. Asians are notorious for copying European ideas. Perfecting them, yes, but copying.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 19:18:56 No.38104929 Report

Quoted By:

>>38103503
probably because the smartest Nigerians make it out of Niger

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 19:31:20 No.38105039 Report

Quoted By:

>>38098770
i need a doujin of this now.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 19:40:06 No.38105126 Report

Quoted By:

>>38100940
Cyrus, a genius in the context of the games, a man of science and owner of an important company at the age of 28, blindly believed in the myths, and now he is the overlord in his own universe.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 19:50:17 No.38105226 Report

Quoted By:

>>38104919
>perfecting
What is this meme? Asian products are shoddy

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 26 Mar 2019 19:58:11 No.38105290 Report

Quoted By:

>>38098724
IQ doesn’t go anywhere near 5000, it only goes up to around 200.

Capcode	All Only User Posts Only Verified Posts Only Moderator Posts Only Manager Posts Only Admin Posts Only Developer Posts Only Founder Posts
Show Posts	All Only With Images Only Without Images Only Spoiler Images Only Non-Spoiler Images
Deleted Posts	All Only Deleted Posts Only Non-Deleted Posts
Ghost Posts	All Only Ghost Posts Only Non-Ghost Posts
Post Type	All Only Sticky Threads Only Opening Posts Only Reply Posts
Results	All Grouped By Threads
Order	Latest Posts First Oldest Posts First

On these archives

Your latest searches