/vp/ - Pokémon » Thread #38674236

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Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 00:39:23 No.38674236 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>38674242 >>38674787 >>38674921 >>38674938 >>38675510 >>38676643 >>38678135 >>38678214 >>38678314

>Why the fuck were there so many glitches in this game? Focus Energy actually reduces your chances of getting a critical hit, Ghost moves don't do jack shit against Psychic Types, and if your stats got too high they would roll over and turn into shit! It's like the programmers didn't even care enough about this shitload of fuck to program it correctly! I'd rather have a Tauros take a diarrhea dump all over my face than play this abominable shitstain! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!?!?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 00:40:26 No.38674242 Report

Quoted By: >>38674268

>>38674236
Hey fuck you, AVGN is still based

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 00:44:08 No.38674268 Report

Quoted By:

>>38674242
I know I'm just doing my best impression

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 00:53:07 No.38674335 Report

Quoted By: >>38674787 >>38674938 >>38678135

>Baddy Bad? BADDY BAD? This game is baddy bad! Who in their right minds would name a move BADDY BAD?!? What do they think we are, fucking BABIES? WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!? You know what, they weren't fucking thinking.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 01:49:32 No.38674773 Report

Quoted By:

There needs to be slightly more AVGNposting. Not too much because I don't want normies to ruin it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 01:51:29 No.38674787 Report

Quoted By:

>>38674236
>>38674335
spot on AVGN impression
based

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 02:06:30 No.38674903 Report

Quoted By:

This thread is great

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 02:08:01 No.38674921 Report

Quoted By: >>38674978

>>38674236
Every single one of those are edge case scenarios that barely anyone notices on a normal playthrough, so the comparison falls flat.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 02:09:39 No.38674938 Report

Quoted By:

>>38674236
>>38674335
Based

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 02:13:32 No.38674978 Report

Quoted By: >>38674988

>>38674921
but those aren't problems in other games.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 02:15:32 No.38674988 Report

Quoted By: >>38674999 >>38675004

>>38674978
They're not problems in gen 1 either.

>durff black/white is shit because if I get my speed stat high I'm not affected by trick room and when I switch my sleeping pokemon the sleep timer gets reset, this game is like donkey shit what were they thinking

this is what OP sounds like.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 02:17:22 No.38674999 Report

Quoted By: >>38675017 >>38675024

>>38674988
moves working the exact opposite of how they are intended to due to shitty programming are not the same thing as what you described.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 02:18:02 No.38675004 Report

Quoted By:

>>38674988
Oh, now that's just a shame isn't it?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 02:18:47 No.38675011 Report

Quoted By: >>38678135

>Pokemon Let’s Go? Yeah, more like Let’s Go PLAY WITH DOG TURDS This game fucking sucks! I’d rather let a Rhydon ride on my dick! I’d rather rub Gogoat shit in my eyes! I’D RATHER PLAY AN LJN GAME than this shit! Oh yeah, it’s THAT bad!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 02:19:07 No.38675017 Report

Quoted By: >>38675266 >>38676465

>>38674999
>moves working the exact opposite of how they are intended
doesn't matter when the move is garbage even when it DOES work as intended.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 02:20:11 No.38675024 Report

Quoted By: >>38675131 >>38676364 >>38678456 >>38678472

>>38674999
>pretending people actually use focus energy ever just to prop up your "gen 1 is le so glitchy and unplayable!!1" meme

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 02:22:05 No.38675039 Report

Quoted By: >>38678135

>And while we're on the subject, what the fuck is this? That pile of sludge looks like literal dogshit! And what kind of a name is Muk? Muk!? Muk have been a hard fucking time coming up with designs for these guys, huh!?!? And look at that thing! That literal trash monster! That look's like a kid's drawing! No. I don't trust a kid to come up with this. Not even Laughing Joking Numbnuts could come up with this shitload of fuck."

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 02:33:08 No.38675131 Report

Quoted By:

>>38675024
>le triggered genwunner

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 02:47:44 No.38675238 Report

Quoted By: >>38676435 >>38678135

>So to get Regigigas, you have to have the whole Regi trio in your party, but to get the Regi trio, you need to trigger an event that requires Regigigas. That's a fucking conundrum if I ever saw one! Basically this means you have to transfer them over from Ruby, Sapphire or Emerald, but how do you get them there, you may ask? Well, you have to dive in a very specific spot on Route 134 and surface right in front of something written in braille. By the way, WHY THE FUCK IS THERE BRAILLE? How the fuck is a blind kid supposed to read this shit? It's not like they can feel the bumps through the screen! So after you surface, you find yourself in a cave with more fucking braille and you have to use Dig right in front of the middle inscription on the very back wall and THEN you go to another room and read the braille with a Relicanth at the top of your party and a Wailord at the bottom of your party to trigger an earthquake that finally unlocks the chambers!... WHY THE FUCK DID IT HAVE TO BE SO CRYPTIC? This is even worse than Simon's Quest where you had to kneel next to that wall to make the tornado appear! How the fuck is a kid ever supposed to figure this out! What a miserable pile of shit.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 02:51:00 No.38675266 Report

Quoted By: >>38676482

>>38675017
>increasing your critical hit ratio by two stages is garbage

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 03:16:52 No.38675510 Report

Quoted By:

>>38674236
Based James BTFO’ing Genwunners.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 03:30:28 No.38675620 Report

Quoted By: >>38676352 >>38678135 >>38678360 >>38685169

>Ok, so I'm on this boardwalk...thing, and... what the hell? Now I have to fight a fisherman? When would you ever fight a fisherman in real life? So he sends out his team, and he's got 6 magikarp! Who does he think he is, AN AQUARIUM? Almost done... fuck! I died! Man, this game is actually pretty hard. What a shit piece of fuck.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 05:21:44 No.38676352 Report

Quoted By:

>>38675620
irate gamer really looks like a pig

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 05:23:16 No.38676364 Report

Quoted By:

>>38675024
i used it a lot until i found out it was fucking useless

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 05:36:49 No.38676435 Report

Quoted By:

>>38675238
You still have to do weird shit after that to fully unlock the regi caves

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 05:43:22 No.38676465 Report

Quoted By: >>38676482

>>38675017
>Increasing critical rate by two stages in Gen 1
>Garbage
Every attack you use would be a crit, regardless of how slow you are, doubling your damage.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 05:48:40 No.38676482 Report

Quoted By: >>38678363

>>38675266
>>38676465
>durff let's waste a turn buffing my crit rate when using SD or Agility effectively does the same thing but better

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 06:22:50 No.38676643 Report

Quoted By:

>>38674236
I mean hes a parody of himself but fuck i love this guy

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 13:14:30 No.38678135 Report

Quoted By:

>>38674236
>>38674335
>>38675011
>>38675039
>>38675238
>>38675620
Holy fucking based!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 13:24:11 No.38678214 Report

Quoted By:

>>38674236
>Jesus Christ! What the hell is with all these fucking cutscenes? You can’t 2 steps without some dipshit trying to tell you what to do or give you their life’s story. Like shut the fuck up. All I wanted to do was to go catch a bunch of animals and become the top cockfighting player at the age of 10. But this Green Haired douche keeps trying to put them back in the wild. What a load of Bouffalant shit.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 13:35:08 No.38678314 Report

Quoted By:

>>38674236

Why did you betray me James? How do even sleep at night knowing what you did?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 13:40:42 No.38678360 Report

Quoted By:

>>38675620
>What does this place think it is, and Escher painting? I DONT THINK SO.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 13:40:53 No.38678363 Report

Quoted By:

>>38676482
SD is probably worse unless you get to +4/+6 in gen 1. Assuming you only get 1 turn of setup, Focus Energy actually working would've been a massive gamechanger, since it has better distribution than SD, and crits pierce defense boosts.

Focus Energy was a pretty big misstep, given the crit mechanics of GRBY. Stadium fixed it, but unfortunately also nerfed crit mechanics to be much more sane, so we'll never know for sure how much was lost with Focus Energy being broken.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 13:47:26 No.38678439 Report

Quoted By: >>38678495 >>38678541 >>38680268

>id rather.... abolish slavery
>id rather let women have the right the vote
>playing this game is worse than fucking a bus full of niggers
>this game is what happens when you don't gas all the jews *sticks index finger up* implying the holocaust happened!
>you'd have more fun entering a grocery store after segregation has been outlawed
>to describe this games ass-nes, id say its like living in a country with open borders
>imagine walking outside your house during a gay pride parade, that's what playing Pokemon USUM is like
>it fucking sucks, it fucking blows, its a faggot
>and i don't like it

Damn, was gen 7 THAT bad?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 13:48:46 No.38678456 Report

Quoted By:

>>38675024
just cause it's hardly ever used doesn't mean it isn't something that was just plain broken

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 13:50:25 No.38678472 Report

Quoted By:

>>38675024
It also makes the game even more braindead easy since the CPU can waste a turn using it

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 13:53:20 No.38678495 Report

Quoted By:

>>38678439
Nah. James just got Raimi to help him write that episode

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 13:59:16 No.38678541 Report

Quoted By: >>38678674

>>38678439
...My friend, you clearly have not seen AVGN. He doesn't randomly get political.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 14:13:45 No.38678674 Report

Quoted By:

>>38678541
It's a /pol/turd who thinks he's being funny, ignore him.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 16:44:53 No.38680160 Report

Quoted By:

bump.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 16:54:35 No.38680268 Report

Quoted By:

>>38678439

>no mention of lillie

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 18:15:09 No.38681101 Report

Quoted By:

>alright so get this. The enemies have a high chance to CALL FOR HELP after a turn. Now in RPG's that's common, but you CAN'T THROW A POKEBALL if there's 2 pokemon out. So what do you do if you want to catch something? You have to KO the newly called pokemon, you have to wait for the camera to pan to the skies for a fuckin hour, the old pokemon calls another one, you KO that one, it calls another one, you KO that one, and FUCK! I hate this fuckin' game! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 18:18:20 No.38681146 Report

Quoted By:

I can't find it, was trying to dig through the archive but I remember a thread just like this with the main punch line being.
>"Gotta catch 'em all? I can't even catch a break!"

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 18:39:32 No.38681387 Report

Quoted By:

>I cant believe it, I can't FUCKING believe it. I spent HOURS upon HOURS getting through this slow ass fucking game to get to the champion
>And what does this BITCH have? ALL THE FUCKING PERFECT POKEMON OF THIS GENERATION
>I mean seriously a FUCKING SPIRITOMB? What bullshit hacking is going on here? Where the FUCK is that thing from?
>It says online here that you have to go through all this fucking bullshit and talk to people to get this fucking piece of shit
>HOW THE FUCK IS AN AI TRAINER TALKING TO OTHER TRAINERS IN A PLAYER ONLY AREA?
>I'm done, I'm fucking done, this team she has is straight bullshit cheating, I dont give a fuck about competitive, I just want to FUCKING FINISH THIS GODDAMN GAME
>I'm done, I spent too much time on this, the fucking text is too slow, the fucking saving is too slow, the fucking animations are too slow, I feel myself physically aging as I play through this shitfest, I've had constipation issues resolve into big huge shits faster then getting through fucking battles
>You know, I'm just too tired, I need a longass nap, I'd rather have gary motherfucking oak smell me later and lance's dragonite hyperbeam me then do a fucking updated version of this fucking slowass game

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 19:32:28 No.38681935 Report

Quoted By:

>This game sucks, end of story. I want to nail Lillie to the fuckin' cross.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 22:53:03 No.38684049 Report

Quoted By: >>38684118

>The box mentions "Dozens of never-before-seen Pokemon". So where the fuck are they? Turns out most of them are hidden away on optional routes you never even need to go to. And how the fuck are you supposed to know where they are? Nobody talks about them in game, the trainers don't use them, not even the fucking Gym Leaders use them! It's like Game Freak was so ashamed of their new abominations that they tried to cover them up like they never existed. Hell, you can't even catch half of these fuckers until you beat the game! Like Slugma, you can only find him in one out-of-the-way patch of grass on the Cycling Road that you'll never even bother to look! And even then he only has a 5% chance of showing up! Or Larvitar, he only shows up in the very, VERY fuckign end on 1 floor of the optional final dungeon at level 15 to 20. Your team should at least be in the fucking 60's by then, who the fuck is going to take the time to raise this fucker into a Tyranitar? It grows slower than other Pokemon too just to tease you. It's like what were they thinking? If you mention these fuckers on the fucking box you should expect to see them in the goddamn game! Not that I blame them though, I mean just look at these fuckers. A giraffe with a weird head thing sticking out its ass? A deer with eyes in its antlers? A fucking pinecone? Some weird blue dick thing? They must have been on some shit when they made these. Game Freak, more like Game FUCK YOURSELVES! Pokemon Gold and Silver are just gold and silver colored TURDS! I'd rather let Ho-oh burn down my house! I'd rather drink piss out of a Miltank's udder than keep playing this failed fuckbomb of a game! These shitheaps are like if Laughing Joking Numbnuts made a Pokemon game. Fuck this shit.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 22:56:49 No.38684092 Report

Quoted By:

Mr "Brown Bricks and hang spics" Matei just dumped James's next AVGN script out for us all to see.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 22:58:28 No.38684118 Report

Quoted By: >>38684214

>>38684049
>NOOOO WHY DOES THE GAME ENCOURAGE ME TO ACTUALLY EXPLORE AND EXPERIMENT WITH THINGS INSTEAD OF HAVING COMMON ROUTE RESKINS FALL ONTO MY LAP

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 23:06:33 No.38684214 Report

Quoted By: >>38684241

>>38684118
What's the use of exploring and experimenting with things if they're gonna be so fucking rare you're more likely to just waste your time? Imagine doing a Nuzlocke of these, your team at the end will probably all be genwun except for your starter. At least in every new gen from 3 on you can find at least some of the new mons without wasting your time fucking around. You know you made your game a little too cryptic when people think Slugma and Skarmory were from gen 3.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 23:06:36 No.38684217 Report

Quoted By:

I've never heard of this guy before but he sounds based

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 23:08:11 No.38684241 Report

Quoted By: >>38684480

>>38684214
>muh fan made rules

post discarded

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 27 May 2019 23:28:15 No.38684480 Report

Quoted By:

>>38684241
>seething Johtoddler

post discarded

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 28 May 2019 00:38:32 No.38685126 Report

Quoted By:

>Kalos? More like Callus! Those fuckers at Game Freak must have gotten calluses on their hands from JERKING OFF INSTEAD OF MAKING A GOOD FUCKING GAME! This region is so stale they didn't even bother to make an updated version because they knew this region was fucked beyond belief! It has no personality of its own, it just sucks the dicks of fans of the first generation! If I wanted to play Red and Blue, I WOULD FUCKING PLAY RED AND BLUE! Like they didn't shove those games down your throat with references up the ass in like every fucking game. This game sucks.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 28 May 2019 00:41:49 No.38685169 Report

Quoted By:

>>38675620
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