Ladies and gentlemen I am very excited to introduce to you a brand new way of gaming. Pokemon Food is an innovative new game produced by Russia's most famous mobile game developer Ivanov's Discount Game Productions and Gutter Cleaning. They spent many many several weeks working on this fun new way to interact with Pokemon!

Instead of walking to encounter new Pokemon like with Pokemon Go! instead players will simply be forced to eat a large bowl of flavorless porridge every few hours. By setting your smartphone, smartwatch, or smartclock in front of you while you eat you will enable Ivanov's professional calorie counters to monitor your every bite. If you eat enough porridge you will be rewarded with a bill for $65.00 to be paid immediately or risk facing fees, fines, and legal prosecution. Upon payment you will receive one of 4 fun color-changing plastic Pokemon spoons in the mail! Choose between Lucario, Pikachu, Mega Lucario, and Charizard!

WARNING: Do not say your name, address, phone number, or social security number out-loud while using Pokemon Food.