>>38737419> I'm I terrible human being. Most of all I wish I could just feel genuinely happy again.You have fallen pretty far, you have suffer and ended up becoming worse as a result, but you are not terrible. You are in a bad place, i dont know if you have always been there and slowly fallen deeper into it or if life has given you a bad hand and you have been falling steadily these past couple of years, but you are not a bad person because of it. I know it because even im not as deep in the hole as you are, im not that far away from it myself. I understand your feelings, fantasy is just a much welcoming place than the harsh and unfair world we live in, but we got no choise on that matter, we can dip our toes in the waters of fantasy but we cant dwell there forever, we will drown if we do. I know things have been hard for you, i can imagine some things just dragging day in and out and making things more difficult than they need to, but not everything is lost, there is still a chance out there, no matter how painful it may look, life still goes on. So dont be afraid or ashamed of the scars you already have, just try to learn how to avoid getting new ones. The show keeps on going, we like it or not, so use your time in the limelight in a way you might look back at it with pride or worthy of nostalgia. Its okey to fail, we cant help it, its okey to feel down and depressed, it happens, but dont give up and then say you never got a chance at all. We are here for you anon, one way or the other, take that however you want, but dont blame yourself for it, you are not a terrible person, you are just tired, scared and disapointed. Things can get better, dont let the idea of running away sway you to never try
