For you all, a story.
Ahem
To my knowledge, one's capacity to shit is determined by how much they eat. What if I told you that the true means of shitting was actually determined by how much potential you have to do evil? See, evil people are intelligent, so they don't need as many nutrients from food they eat, this creating much more shit than the average joe. People like Gandhi never shit because he was good spirited, but he lacked real intelligence. When we look at persons like Adolf Hitler, his records show astronomical amounts of poopy feces collected for making all sorts of weapons to destroy the Jews with. These records back my theory up, though implying Hitler was evil is a bit opinionated. I'll take any support I can get though. Using my theory, I can spot criminals based on their ass boulder to piss ratio. All we have to do is collect all the shit and DNA test every speck. The highest amounts of shit belonging to one person should identify our criminals no problem. Please consider my theory and plan to benefit our tomorrow. Thank you.
