Domain changed to archive.palanq.win . Feb 14-25 still awaits import.
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No.39445051 View ViewReplyOriginalReport
imagine being a grain of sand sitting on that beach for millions of years, getting pissed and shit on by kids and dogs, stepped on by fat people and occasionally getting to be part of a sand castle only for the dumb kid to give up halfway through
then imagine today, your 400 millionth miserable day on this planet, when the beautiful, cute, wonderful and perfect Serena walls up to you and, in a moment of senedipity that will never be duplicated on the endless spectrum of time, she lifts her soft, tiny foot and brings it down on you, her tender insole rubbing all over you. she pivots her foot slightly and you move up, nestling between two of her precious little french toes. She wiggles them intensely but you’re wet and sticking to the crook between her big toe and her foot’s left ball. She even stomps on you a couple of times, but you’re stuck on. Finally, she walks up to the edge of the water and shakes her foot in it, dislodging you into the ocean. It only lasted a few minutes, but it was your entire life
you don’t know why a just and loving god would elect to make you a sentient, voiceless piece of sand for so many millions of years, to be peed and pooped on and trod upon by fat and old and ugly people and with nobody to ever know your pain. Then, for five glorious minutes, perfect little fluffy Serena makes you a part of her perfect little foot, and justifies everything up to that point and everything to come. You were one with Serena's foot. Everything else is playing with house money.
And whether you think this is based or cringe or even yikes, there’s one thing you must take away from this story: Your mom will die in her sleep tonight unless you respond to this post