>>39718898When confronted with dogs, I just try to ignore them. Or if they get up in my face (Which they do 95% of the time, because they know I don't like them and they're the Jehovah's Witnesses of animals, just like their owners) I go "Yeah haha, woof woof, right? Wow, you're loud. You definitely are a dog, yep. Ooh great job sliming my hand or shoe, that's definitely great that you did that and not gross. Good job doing dog stuff. Yes, nice. Please stop now." and I nervously pet them in a place they might not bite me in order to appease them so they might go away.
Then I wash my hands because what is it with dogs?? They almost all fucking smell and make your hands smell disgusting and feel like... dusty?? Like there's dust on them?? It's like petting a horse except horses have an excuse because they're big, live mostly outside, and can't possibly clean themselves.
Dogs COULD but choose not to because fuck you that's why. I don't see why dogs can't do the cat thing of cleaning themselves, they're pretty flexible from what I've seen. Also, you'd think cats would smell gross because they lick themselves all day and cat spit smells just as gross as dog spit, but somehow I can nuzzle my whole face in a cat tummy and it smells neutral and clean. But dogs just sit around in their own filth, with shit berries hanging off their ass and their owners just think they're angels from heaven blessing them with shit berries. Haha oh how cute, it's a shit berry, guess I'll clean that off the anus of my sweet precious baby that has the strength to kill me.
Meanwhile let's look down on cats for pooping outside of the single litter box that gets cleaned once a week because ew um that's gross I'm way above that *pulls dingleberries off a dog's anus with papertowels because the entire species refuses to indulge in basic hygiene.* haha my dog has destroyed his own expensive bedding and pissed on my bed, how darling! What a silly! Oh the cat clawed the couch, damn all cats!
