Fuck you, "people who play games outside of Pokémon". You will always be inferior. Pokémon is the king. It is the best JRPG, the best RPG, the best monster collector, the best video game, and every entry is better than the last. The only reason I and my fellow brethren on /vp/, Serebii, Bulbagarden, and the YouTube comments section buy consoles is to play Pokémon. Zelda looks way too complex and Mario looks too hard. Does Dragon Quest have PIKACHU? Or CHARIZARD? Or MEWTWO? I bet not! Every time I see them, I get a little... dizzy. It's like an intense pleasure that nothing else can replicate, a shot of dopamine directly into my brain's central nervous system. I see Marnie and I cum in my pants a little. I see Sylveon and I start fucking my dog who I permanently died pink and have attached streamers to. Every new trailer reaffirms my infinite love for this franchise, and I think "Yep, I think I'm buying this" and preorder again to make sure. I begin to furiously masturbate whenever a new Pokémon announcement video appears. If only I could meet my heroes Junichi Masuda-san, Shigeru Ohmori-sama, and our white knight Joe Merrick who always fights the good fight against you trolls. E3 is the biggest waste of time outside of Pokémon. For three days, I sit texting "when pokemon" hoping they'll listen to me, a real fan, and show everyone there what they really want. Fuck your "Astral Chain" and "Daemon X Machina" and ESPECIALLY YOU, "Dragon Quest". You all try to take attention away from Pokémon Sword and Shield, the guaranteed game of the year and possibly all time when video games wouldn't even exist if it wasn't for Pokémon. Every time you try to kick Pokémon off its throne, I shitpost against you in the appropriate forums and preorder another double pack. I hope we never have another gap year like 2015 again. I was comatose in the hospital after begging for news all years. I hope we start getting new games every few months, I don't care if they're not complete.
