I'm Bowser, President of Nintendo of America. Don't listen to Mario. He's just being a contrarian to spite me. But some of us have responsibilities and families to feed, unlike a certain duo of brothers who aren't even plumbers anymore. So I'm here to remind you to buy Sword and Shield. Both of them. That's an order. They have that giga-something and curry. You idiots will love it. Not that you'd ever not buy a Pokémon game. Let's not try to fool ourselves. If you were going to leave, you wouldn't be here right now. Well, that's all from me. I have to go play Astral Chain on my Nintendo Switch TM, whatever the hell that is. Buy that too.
