>>41490303I am old enough now to just know I can chalk it up to just some crossed wires in my physochology. I'm a grown man (older than most of this board for sure) and I understand it's just an illogical fear that doesn't have any basis in reality. It's just a fear I never have to actually face because so long as I never swim in anything other than a swimming pool, I never actually have to face the fear or deal with it in any capacity. Very easy to ignore irl. I'll give you some interesting tidbits about growing up with it though.
-one of my earliest memories of a field trip was to a giant aquarium, before I was afraid of aquatic shit. I leaned my back against a big "empty" tank for a minute or two, and when I turned around there was a great white shark on the other side of the glass right behind me.
-I know I didn't have this phobia my entire life, I did a school project on giant sea creatures in second grade and I've literally never been the same since.
-once when I was a kid my mom got a fish tank and some goldfish and it made me cry, I couldn't go on that side of the house. I decided I couldn't live in a house with fish in it so I poured soda in the fish tank until they died.
-this meant for the rest of my childhood until I moved out of my parents house, every time my sister/mom had a pet fish die they always "asked" me in a very accusatory way if I killed it. (I never killed a fish again, when I was older I was able to just ignore them like a normal person).
-I tried to get into fishing as an adult hobby. I got all my fishing gear and got ready to go fishing alone my first time. I caught a fish and was so utterly confused as to what to do afterwards that I just left my whole fishing rod on the side of the lake with the fish still on the line and just went home. I couldn't get close to it and touching it was incomprehensible so I just decided fuck the entire attempt at a new hobby.
I'm actually pretty masculine and normal outside of this one thing
