>>41609223But, no matter how much I tried, the feelings never fully went away. I still, deep down, wished I were a girl. I still hated who I was slowly becoming, and at night I would still drift to sleep thinking about what my life would be like had I been born a girl. I would have dreams at night where I would see myself in a girl's body and when I woke up and was reminded that this was just a dream I would frequently be overcome with emotion.
Then, wow, I turned 13! I was COPPA legal! A whole new world opened up for me! I made new friends and joined new communities including this one! And, while I may have still fallen way too far down the rabbit hole of repression to be willing to fully accept or even consider who I truly was, I was able to slowly come to terms with bits and pieces of my identity, largely because of how accepting this community is. Thanks for that!
Fast forward to now (well, about a month ago), nearly three years after joining here, and suddenly for reasons I may never fully understand the walls of emotional repression I built up over all these years began to break. And, understandably, I was scared. But because of the supportive people and community I found here, across PS and Smogon entirely, and to a more specific degree in the PokePride discord linked in the OP of this thread and amongst the people I staff various chatrooms with on PS, I knew I would make it through okay. Thanks guys.
The day I finally gave into the emotions that I had repressed for so very long and actually spoke to (and came out to, kind of) someone about all of this was the most amazing day of my life. I had food poisoning and spent most of the day dealing with that, but I was still happier than I had ever truly been before.
