>>42107712Final update, my DS charger is fucking dead somehow so I will not be able leave my game open for 3 hours, let alone the 9 hours it would take to get the objects. I have failed you anons, sorry about that.
But I did some more research and it seems as if
>>42107523 is a method that works, this video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHcKLk5odsM suggests changing the clock forward the required amount of days by going to midnight and waiting a minute 100+ times.
No clue if that means just skipping ahead all the way to where it needs to be and waiting a minute is impossible or not. Could just be that it hadn't been tried yet, though I doubt it.
Either way this whole mess has taught me that the HGSS safari zone is a hell of a lot more bunk than I remember, holy shit.