The night before I pre-ordered, a voice came to me in my dreams.
“Anon!” it spoke, “this is you from the future! You can’t choose Shield, Anon, there’s something you don’t know. A downloadable waifu, Anon! Pink hair! A cute outward appearance! Poison-themed stockings! She’s right up your alley, Anon! Fuck Allister! Fuck Ponyta! Fuck Shield! Sword is the choice for you!”

Bros... I... I didn’t listen.