Domain changed to archive.palanq.win . Feb 14-25 still awaits import.
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>be me, jogging at night
>suddenly, someone comes from behind and slams me to the ground
>“aren’t you supposed to be in quarantine, little man?” He questioned
>I do not struggle
>“hand over your wallet,” he says, searching through my messenger bag
>“kill me,” I say
>“what?” He bellowed
>“kill me,” i say once more. “I have nothing to live for”
>“w-wha,” the stranger stuttered. “I have a knife. I can kill you right now if I wanted to right now. Why aren’t you afraid!?”
>“because,” i moaned, “Game Freak has still yet to release Melmetal and I refuse to play Pokémon GO, thus, meaning I will never have a complete dex. I cannot go on living knowing that I can’t post on /vp/ anymore seeing as how I cannot Catch ‘em All.”
>pic related his face
>mfw he let’s me go