Smogon Man: A Story
>Smogon Man wakes up in the world of Pokemon
>This is amazing! he says, With all my meta knowledge of Pokemon I'm going to dominate these pathetic trainers. I'll be the champion within a week!
>Setting off on his journey, Smogon Man picks up a complimentary bug Pokemon and sets off to build his ultimate competitive team
>A few days in and things are already going poorly. Not only as he failed to catch any unique Pokemon, but he continues to lose battles against newbie trainers!
>How can this be! cries Smogon Man, I'm fighting as hard as I can! I set up an unbeatable FEAR strat, I've force-fed my bug Pokemon countless minerals and supplements, I make him wear a power-up sash for Christ's sake! Why can't I win?
>An old man approaches Smogon Man
>Smogon Man! he says, you have a great grasp of type advantage and strategy. But despite all your skills you do not trust your Pokemon, you do not truly love them
>What do you mean? says Smogon Man, I'm only losing because I'm stuck with these trash Pokemon! If I just had some berries I'd win for sure! Where can I find some Salac Berries?
>Salac Berries? Why, they grow at the top of the mountain--a five day journey, on foot
>Never mind, says Smogon Man, Where can I find some TMs!
>TMs?
>Rare Candies then, if you please
>We have plenty of sweets, but I don't think...
>Never mind! snaps Smogon Man. He stomps away into the forest, followed by his meek Pokemon
>He sits on a stump and reflects on his life. What a wash! Only bug and normal types, and they don't even have the right natures! He can't see their IVs but he's certain they're trash
>Why me? says Smogon Man, Why me?
>His bug type rests on his shoulder as his two normal types curl up in his lap
>As he sits, he studies his Pokemon--sees them breathe, eyes shut--trusting, peaceful, more than pets...
>Companions for life!
>Smogon Man cries bitter tears of regret, all the wasted years obsessing over tiny numbers!
>When all he needed, was love.
