Reposting this since the thread died right after I posted and I forgot to add the introductory scene, kek.
Well, I've spent a good chunk of the week on this, but I pushed out the first chapter of my revised fic. This story has no "central" protagonist but does feature several main characters who are all working towards the same goal, which is to win a competition.
Changes include
1: Drastically shrunk the cast to only focus on a handful of viewpoints as opposed to the gargantuan mess of trying to juggle several dozen.
2: Increased the time said characters are on-screen and allowing them to develop as well as interact with other people. In time this will allow the main characters to cross over into other stories more seamlessly as well I feel.
3: Just worked on the language and grammar and made it seem less shit and janky overall.
This first chapter mainly serves to introduce the start of the major characters respective journeys, just your typical introductory schtick.
Please tell me what you think. Anything you like, anything you don't like, etc. I'm pretty confident in my story's main building block now, so I aim to hopefully continue and further improve my writing as I get deeper into the story.
Link:
https://pastebin.com/0Ruu0CkJ 
